


Murmuring Hearts

by finnian4ever (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Kind Kind Professor Erwin, M/M, Medical Conditions, Teacher/Student Sort of but not really, explicit for second part(chapter), student Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:23:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 29,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5181845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/finnian4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Levi, your grades are surprising me lately." </p><p>The senior said nothing to this, but continued to stare at Erwin evenly with his dark grey-blue eyes, his mouth set in a firm line as if to defy that anything was amiss. The professor went on, </p><p>"I know that you're under a lot of stress, being in your senior year, but that's normal and you're not one to let mere stress break you so easily. You've proven that to me over the years, so please tell me, what's going on with you?"</p><p>It was very obvious that Levi did not want to have this conversation. His thin fingers tightened on the strap of his shoulder bag, his jaw set in even closer, and his eyes dropped swiftly from his professor's blue ones. After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, he muttered, </p><p>"Nothing."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nisaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/gifts).



I would like to dedicate this story to Nisaki, who did pretty much all the research on medical conditions for me! Without her help I wouldn't have been able to write this story <3.

))))((((

Part One:

))((

Erwin Smith sighed as he had to mark yet another '0' on a student's homework column, frowning as he reviewed the previous littering of '0's and other poor grades. He ran his long fingers through his blond hair and leaned back in his deep leather office chair. It was difficult as a college professor to remain impartial at times when it came to certain students. Whether they would admit to it or not, all instructors had favorites amongst their pupils, and Erwin was no different. This particular student had been one of his secret favorites for years. He had taken at least one of Erwin's classes every semester since his freshman year, and had always excelled. Erwin, like most of the faculty here at the small college, taught more than one subject within his area of expertise, upping the rate of repeat students. But this student, Levi Ackerman, was his most consistent. The irony was that he did not even need more than one of Erwin's classes in order to complete his major, he simply took them because he wanted to. As an engineering major the only core class Levi needed that Erwin taught was Psychology, but he continued to appear in Erwin's classes once every semester; Arts & Culture 101, & 102, Psychology 101, 102, & 103, and Philosophy 101, 102, & 103\. Not many students chose classes like this as their electives, but apparently Levi thrived on critical thinking and anything that challenged his mind. His papers always reflected a depth of intellect that impressed Erwin greatly.

Now as a senior, however, Levi was suddenly struggling.

This was not uncommon to see in students over the last year of college. Seniors could turn in either the most brilliant or the poorest quality of work. It was saddening to watch the effort fall away from some students once they reached their final year; the pressures of life after graduation were forcing their way into the comforting bubble of student life, threatening true adulthood and killing off the last days students had to live as youngsters.

Still, this pattern came as a surprise in Levi. He was viewed in one of two ways by the faculty who had him in their classes; they either loved him or hated him. He was an undeniably bright young man, deceivingly quiet overall but questioning everything when he had a chance. The very structure of a professor's class was under blatant scrutiny from young Mr. Ackerman, who was not shy about pointing out perceived flaws in the lesson plans. For the profs who laughed him off and conceded that he may be right, they could come to find his observations and criticisms charming. For those who did not, they came to despise him as a little self-important brat.

Erwin Smith escaped any deep ridicule from the young man who had the sciences department faculty complaining to each other in the lounge. He had been warned by another prof in the department that Levi Ackerman was in his class and he should brace himself for the smart-ass. When Levi did make his classic move it was only to point out that a Power Point Presentation would make it easier to take notes than Erwin writing the information on the board. A fairly commonplace complaint from Erwin's students, and he had responded by smiling and informing everyone in the class, not just Levi, that by writing out information longhand it was easier to recall later on, and with as much as he needed to know as a teacher it was a good exercise, and by students having to follow him along instead of just copying prewritten info it was also being more deeply written in their own brains. Levi had had nothing to say to that, or anything else to say in criticism of Mr. Smith.

As Erwin taught Arts & Culture, Philosophy, and Psychology he had a theory that Levi had a hard time criticizing blatant fact, but could take anything remotely resembling a theory and run with it until he dropped dead. Levi was an avid thinker and was ready to discuss, debate, and launch head-first into unwinnable battles over topics that were not meant to have a conclusion.  Levi's classmates also had mixed opinions of him. Some of them, freshmen and juniors mostly, idolized him due to his intellect. While others, the majority, hated the long discussions he would drag on with the profs, deflecting efforts to have other questions answered and opportunities to be dismissed from class early. Erwin knew that Levi was not deliberately trying to make trouble, but truly enjoyed the classes, which was more than he could say for 90% of the students in any given class.

Erwin had formed a relationship with Levi, as the young man was always so eager to discuss or debate with him that most days after class found them in the campus coffee shop or cafeteria speaking together. Arguing, some fellow students and staff would say, as their debates could get heated at times when they were on opposite ends of a viewpoint. It was all in good intellectual fun, however, and neither of them considered stopping. Even when the overused 'teacher's pet' taunt came up a few times in class they just ignored it, as did everyone else who understood their odd connection.

Over the years professor Smith was able to know Levi closely through their hundreds of dialogues, and found the young man to be very intelligent but at the same time...a little lost. Levi was a very to-the-point person at heart despite the deep, winding roads his discussions took him on philosophical subjects, so what he didn't keep close he would state without embellishment. When the subject came up, he had evenly stated that he had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of love and the sacrifices it made for others. When Erwin had prompted that a person's parents  were usually the root cause of such uncertainties, Levi had gone silent for a moment. When he did speak it was with a small, sad smile and a monotone admission of,

"My mother had so many clients even she doesn't know which one fathered me."

Levi had not seemed ashamed, just factual. When Erwin opened his mouth to respond to that statement  Levi stopped him, saying dryly that he didn't need any sympathy. Erwin had smiled and replied that he wasn't about to give any, simply observe how impressed he was that Levi was attending college with such a past. He had heard many a sad story from students before, but not many born into poverty were as determined to succeed as Levi, and that was admirable. Levi had seemed unsure how to counter that, as though no one had said anything like that to him before.  While his heart was somewhat sore for Levi's upbringing, Erwin was more proud for him than anything, as he was working two jobs to put himself through college.  Very few children born into poverty like he suspected Levi was ever made it through rudimentary schooling, let alone consistently make the Dean's List every semester. At least...until the final semester of Levi's senior year...

As he locked up his office for the night Erwin pondered Levi's academic decline. Levi had never been self-important like so many teachers thought, but he was admittedly proud. It was hard not to be after accomplishing so much, coming from where he had. If he was having difficulties....well, it was obvious that he was, but he would never ask for help, would never make use of the Learning Center and the tutors who were available. No, Erwin was not surprised that he was dealing with whatever issues he had on his own. Erwin had been seeing the signs for a while, now that he thought it over; Levi had been very tired in class, and his eyes had grown dark circles beneath them. Once or twice Erwin could swear he saw him nodding off in his seat. Levi had always been a sharp dresser, favoring sweater vests, dress pants, and collared shirts with ties to traditional student garb. But lately the professional clothes had given way to jeans and hoodies. After knowing how he normally dressed, it was highly unusual to see Levi in such casual ware.

Erwin could not help but worry, after nearly five years he had grown attached to Levi and he wanted to help him. He had been told countless times in his life that he needed to bandage up that bleeding heart of his and accept that there were times when a situation was just too broken to be fixed by anyone, least of all Erwin Smith. Still, he could not live without at least trying to do something. He wished he could seek Levi out right now to check on him. Of course he had no idea which dorm Levi lived in, but even if he did there was no way he could show up at a student's room without it being deemed inappropriate. Instead Erwin went home, and tried to get a full night's sleep while he tossed, turned, and worried about his short, proud student, and his piercing grey eyes.

)(

In his Philosophy 103 class the next evening Erwin found himself again distracted by Levi, who was sitting in the very back of the class rather than his customary seat in the front row. The boy looked like death today, and the question _why_ ate at Erwin all through his lecture. All he wanted was to drag Levi into his office and demand that he reveal the reason why he looked so gaunt and tired. Instead he waited patiently until the end of class so he could carry out a milder version of this scenario.

"Levi, could you stay behind a moment, please." Erwin called when he dismissed the class. Levi acknowledged these words with a small sigh and shrug of his thin shoulders, as though he had known this would happen. When the main flow of exiting students receded to the door, Levi made his way resignedly down to Erwin's desk. There was a brief silence as they stood across from each other, and then Erwin bridged the gap a bit by coming out from behind his desk and leaning back against it, directly in front of Levi.

"Levi, your grades are surprising me lately."

The senior said nothing to this, but continued to stare at Erwin evenly with his dark grey-blue eyes, his mouth set in a firm line as if to defy that anything was amiss. The professor went on,

"I know that you're under a lot of stress, being in your senior year, but that's normal and you're not one to let mere stress break you so easily. You've proven that to me over the years, so please tell me, what's going on with you?"

It was very obvious that Levi did not want to have this conversation. His thin fingers tightened on the strap of his shoulder bag, his jaw set in even closer, and his eyes dropped swiftly from his professor's blue ones. After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, he muttered,

"Nothing."

Erwin leaned his head to the side, trying to meet Levi's eyes again, but the young man refused that contact. Erwin sighed and lifted his head again.

"Alright. I suppose it's not fair for me to ask you something so personal. If you don't want to tell me the details, I won't make you. But don't expect me to look the other way either."

This comment drew Levi's wandering eyes back up to Erwin's face, where he studied its determined, honest lines carefully. Levi then gave the faintest grin and gently shook his head.

"Of course you wouldn't look the other way, even if I wanted you to. You're like that."

Hoping that the intense pride that swelled in his chest at those words did not bring a glow to his face, Erwin replied,

"Does that bother you?"

Once more those grey eyes lowered, as if unable to handle the compassion in the professor's face.

"Not really, I've gotten used to it. But...sometimes I wish you didn't see as much as you do."

"Levi, it has nothing to do with my perception." Erwin assured. "It does not take a genius to know something is wrong with you; your grades are slipping, you're missing assignments, you barely speak in class anymore, and you always look exhausted. Now tell me, how is anyone, least of all me, going to overlook that? Can you blame me for being worried?"

Again, that smile tugged at the firm set of Levi's mouth as he said,

"No, I wouldn't blame _you_. Out of all my teachers you're the only one who cares enough to question me directly."

 Erwin felt his heart flutter a bit, both with renewed pride and sorrow.

"What?" He asked, "None of your other professors have talked to you?"

Levi shook his head.

"Have you been doing better in your other classes then?"

"Nope."

Suppressing a surge of anger toward his fellow professors, Erwin just shook his head disapprovingly. It was unprofessional to put down a student's other instructors in front of them.

"So you're performing badly in all your classes right now?"

"Pretty much."

"And how do you expect me to believe that nothing is wrong?" Erwin questioned, noticing how Levi shifted on his feet, looking more and more uncomfortable even though his expression never changed. He was a very solemn-faced young man regardless of what he was feeling, and determining his mood was a skill that Erwin felt like he'd gained from spending time inside and outside of class with him over the years.

"I told you," Levi said, very quietly, "I never expected that...from you. I've actually been dreading this moment because I knew you'd do this. You care too much."

"I disagree." Erwin countered. "I care for the wellbeing of all who are close to me. If I ignored signs like I'm reading in you what kind of person would I be?"

"The same as everyone else." Levi mumbled, looking subconsciously toward the open door on the other side of the room. "They couldn't give a damn."

Erwin sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Like I said, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just wanted to give you the opportunity."

A long and more than awkward silence hung in the air between them, stretching longer and more taut with each passing second. Levi finally broke it by admitting softly,

"I haven't been sleeping much."

Erwin nodded, remaining silent to allow Levi to reveal more if he chose to. He did not, instead opting to rub the short hair at the back of his head, before ruffling the longer locks that hung over his ears. Erwin was mildly distracted by this action, his non-professor side whispering to him how soft that black hair looked between Levi's slender, pale fingers. Such lovely, small hands he had, soft white flesh and tapered fingertips...

"Have you spoken to the campus nurse?" Erwin offered, needing to stifle that voice that had been whispering sweet, seductive observations about Levi since the first day the young man walked into his classroom.

Levi shook his head.

"I um....I don't like doctors. I know she's just a nurse, but still..."

"Insomnia can be very deadly, Levi." Erwin said with concern.

"Yea, but there's nothing wrong with me physically," Levi suddenly bit out in a terse voice, "you teach three levels of psychology and I've taken them all, so you and I both know what they're going to say; 'it's something in your own head, you need to see a therapist or a counselor to find the root cause.' Well I don't have time for that, I'm two months from graduating and I can't afford to waste time sitting and babbling with someone who thinks my personal issues are interfering with my sleep pattern!"

Levi's face flushed a bit pink when he finished, as though he realized that he had just been ranting. He once more rubbed the back of his head, sighed, and said in a more even tone,

"But I _won't_ graduate if all of my grades are shit either...so...I'm kind of screwed, aren't I?"

"Levi..." Erwin said gently, not really having anything else to offer but feeling the urge to speak his name.

"Look," Levi said, meeting his eyes more determinedly than he had throughout their whole conversation, "there's nothing that you can do to help me. I know you're the caring type, but unless you can write me a script for sleeping pills..."

"Are you sure there's nothing physically wrong with you?" Erwin asked, very cautiously, finding that he needed to tread gently as Levi seemed uncharacteristically volatile at the moment, "If you haven't been checked over you have no idea."

"I feel fine!" Levi snapped. "Besides being so fucking tired I can't think!"

"Have you been having any headaches?" The senior flinched slightly at the question, and fell silent. Erwin could see that his slender hands were shaking a bit where they clasped together over his shoulder strap. Erwin felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that the tremors were most likely caused by nerves, due to his questioning.

"It's nothing." Levi insisted softly a moment later. "I have a busy schedule and....sometimes I get stress migraines. It's normal."

"How _often_ is normal?" Erwin pressed, keeping his tone gentle and not demanding. Despite the care he took breaking the question Levi let out a frustrated huff of air and turned a vicious glare up at him.

"Just fuck off, old man, I'm fine!"

The words cut Erwin a bit, and seemed to startle them both, as Levi rarely raised his voice let alone addressed Erwin in a disrespectful way. At least, he had used this name for him a few times but it had always been teasing, never intending to harm. Erwin knew it was just a defensive measure and did not let it deter him; if Levi had really wanted to leave, to end this conversation, the door was wide open. Instead he stayed put. Erwin let the biting words ring in the air of the empty classroom for a moment, almost as if to make Levi think about what he'd said, and he looked miserable for it. Once Levi gave a self-deprecating frown and shook his head in frustration, Erwin finally asked, very carefully,

"If you're really fine, then why are you so upset?"

Levi bit his bottom lip, his thin black eyebrows narrowing angrily again even at the quiet inquiry.

"Because I'm-" Levi stopped for a moment as he tried to hold Erwin's gaze, and failed. He looked down and finished, "I _am_ fine."

The shoulder bag was shifted to Levi's other side,  just to give the nervous senior something to do besides stand there and stare at the floor.

"I think you should at least see a doctor." Erwin said quietly.

"I don't have insurance." Levi countered. "I have an engineering  job lined up after graduation that includes health care, but until then I can't afford an appointment even if I decided to get one."

Erwin had to take a moment to think, wondering if it would be wise to proceed with the plan that had just formed in his head. Certainly it wouldn't help his career, it might even raise a few detrimental whispers if it was discovered, but at the moment he couldn't have cared. Levi was more important at this moment than anything else in Erwin's world. With that he made up his mind.

"Come with me." He said, moving back behind his desk to pick up his own briefcase.

"I have homework." Levi protested, while at the same time following Erwin to the door.

"Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you'll be doing it anyway." Erwin deadpanned, and Levi fell silent, following him all the way out to the faculty parking lot. "Get in."

For a brief moment Levi stood beside the passenger side of the car, and glanced at the tall blond man from across the roof. His eyes barely reached above the roof, and Erwin was again reminded of just how dear he found Levi's shortness.  Erwin had driven him around plenty of times in the past, but they both knew this trip was no joy ride. The haggard student finally slid into the familiar passenger seat and buckled his safety belt. Erwin smiled as he closed his own door and started the engine. They sat in silence until they pulled off campus and onto the main highway.

"So are you going to tell me where you're taking me?" Levi asked, leaning back tiredly into the soft leather seat.

"Are you going to kick up a fuss if I do?" Erwin questioned back. When Levi didn't say anything, the professor answered for him. "You know where I'm taking you, anyway."

Levi gave a very long-suffering sigh.

"Yeah."

After five more moments of dead silence Levi began fiddling with the car radio, just to break the tension. He settled on a pop station, which they listened to for another ten minutes before Erwin pulled into the clinic parking lot. The hospital loomed beside it, like the small building was just a precursor to being admitted into the larger one. At least, that was how Levi seemed to feel by the way he glared at it.

"Aren't you supposed to have an appointment before you come here?" Levi grumbled as he stepped out of the car.

"Normally, yes, but I know someone who works here, and she should have time right about now."

Erwin noticed Levi's body language change the second they stepped through the automatic doors and into the office. His hands slid into his hoodie pockets, arms tight to his body as he seemed to shrink into himself as though for safety. The professor unconsciously moved close to him as they headed up to the counter. When the bored-looking woman behind the counter looked up, Erwin asked,

"Is Petra here?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but she'll see me. Just tell her Erwin Smith is here."

The woman looked skeptical, but picked up her phone regardless and began to dial. Once she had related the information, her eyes turned wider with surprise and she hung up.

"You can go on through. First door on the right."

Erwin thanked her and they headed toward the door that lead to the exam rooms. Levi shadowed Erwin closely, eyeing everything from the framed pictures on the walls to the carpet itself as though they were offensive or harmful. When they came to the first door, which sported the gold-plated sign engraved with _Petra Ral_ , Erwin knocked. A very petite blond woman opened the door, a smile on her face as she looked up at Erwin.

"Erwin, don't tell me you're deathly ill but still looking so handsome?"

The blond man smiled back at her and shook his head.

"I'm healthy as a horse. I was wondering if you had a moment free though."

Petra's brown eyes fell on Levi hovering behind Erwin and her face schooled itself into a more serious expression.

"You know I do right now. Come on in."

She waved them into her office, a spacious one with large tinted glass windows and a sizable desk. Erwin and Levi took their seats in the chairs facing the desk while Petra sat behind it.

"What can I do for you, Erwin?" She asked, a touch more professionalism in her tone.

"It's not what you can do for me, Petra." Erwin said, glancing beside him at Levi, who was glaring at the live plants that grew on the windowsill as if they were openly insulting him. "This is Levi Ackerman. Levi, this is Petra Ral, an old college classmate of mine."

The dark-haired youth turned his cold gaze upon the doctor, and softened it from irritated to indifferent out of respect.

"Nice to meet you." He muttered.

"And you as well." She said politely. "I'm assuming you're the one I'm meant to examine?"

Levi nodded his head, tossing it in Erwin's direction.

"Prof Smith is convinced I'm dying or some shit."

Petra blinked a bit at the language and glanced at Erwin briefly, who sent her back an apologetic smile.

"Prof? So you're his student?"

"Not for long." Erwin cut in, seeing the suspicious glint in her soft brown eyes. "He has two more months before he graduates, but he's been having difficulty sleeping."

Petra turned her attention back on the young man sitting oddly upright and proper in his dark hoodie and jeans. He was obviously not some deviant off the street, he was still clean and put together, but he did look rough with his heavy eyelids and the dark circles under his eyes.

"Can you tell me a bit more about what you're experiencing?" She asked.

Sighing a bit, Levi nodded.

"Basically I haven't slept more than two or three hours a night for the past two months."

"Two months?" Erwin exclaimed, unable to hold back. He'd had no idea Levi had been suffering for that long.

The young man shifted uncomfortably in his seat at Erwin's reaction, and nodded.

"Yeah, it's been two months of hell, that's why my grades are slipping." He met Petra's eyes once more as he went on, "It's not that I'm not tired when I go to bed. I'm always exhausted, but then I just lie there for hours. My body gets stiff and sore from being in the same position. It's like I think that sleep will come if I just stay still. I've tried everything, trust me; hot tea, hot milk, melatonin, relaxing music, breathing techniques....you name it and I've tried it. Nothing has helped."

Erwin's heart cracked a little, threatening to break as Levi evenly rolled out his hardships. He could not stay silent though as he saw Petra open her mouth. He knew what she was going to say, knew her well enough from their years of friendship that he could tell she was trying to go the easy route and say there must be psychological reasons. He cut her off before she began to speak.

"There are other symptoms as well. He told me he has been having migraines."

Petra's expression turned more interested upon hearing that.

"How often are you experiencing them?" She asked.

"Pretty much one every few days." Levi murmured, his eyes sliding sideways toward Erwin. "They put me down. I have to lie in bed with all the curtains drawn and stay absolutely still to feel like my head's not going to explode. I take Migraine medication and it helps a lot, but I'm usually lying down for at least an hour before the meds kick in."

The crack expanded in Erwin's heart, and he wondered how it would stay intact through the rest of this visit.

"Insomnia and migraines..." Petra said, almost to herself as her medical mind turned Levi's words over and over. "Do you have any other symptoms? Any at all? If there was anything else that changed around the time the insomnia started it could be important."

The young man sat there for a moment, and then admitted,

"Prof Smith's going to fly off the handle about how I should have told someone sooner..." He prefaced, the smallest grin tugging at his lips, "but I haven't wanted to eat anything at all over the past month. I've barely been able to choke down what I need to keep going, food's become disgusting to me. I know that some people eat through their stress, and so I did think it was strange that I wasn't at least hungry with all the craziness of senior year."

Erwin noticed the slight rise of Petra's eyebrows that indicated she had discovered something. He had seen that look many times when they were doing homework together for classes, or studying together for a hard test. She leaned forward on her desk and asked.

"By chance, Mr. Ackerman, have you noticed any changes in your behavior? Have you been unusually short-tempered, or experiencing mood swings or sudden anger?"

The smallest of sounds came from Levi as he drew in a short breath. He didn't answer in detail as he had to all of her other questions. Instead he just nodded and said,

"Yeah...yeah actually."

Petra stood up and walked around her desk, drawing a small instrument from her lab coat pocket as she did.

"I'm going to take a look at your eyes if that's alright." She said gently, and leaned over Levi a bit, lifting the small bright flashlight in her hand. "Look up at me, please. Stare straight ahead."

She flashed the light in his eyes a few times, making him blink.

"Are your eyes sensitive at all?"

"Just a bit. Haven't really had a chance to rest them recently. Most nights I'm just scrolling through internet sites or movies on my phone to pass the time."

Petra hummed as she pulled back, then taking the stethoscope from around her neck and fixing the earpieces in place.

"I'm going to listen to your heart, stay still for me." She placed the round end of the instrument against Levi's chest, pressing through the thick hoodie fabric to be able to hear properly. Her eyes drifted to the side as she concentrated on the sounds coming from Levi's chest. Levi cast a questioning glance at Erwin, feeling uncomfortable with the entire situation. Erwin gave him a supportive nod, managing a smile. Petra remained there, poised over Levi and moving the stethoscope from place to place in his chest for a long time before moving to his back. Again, she took her time before pulling back.

"I'm hearing a heart murmur." She said seriously. "It definitely shouldn't be there, especially in someone as young as you. What is your exact age?"

"Twenty-three." Levi said, his eyes widening slightly at her admission. "What would my heart have to do with me not being able to sleep? Or my headaches?"

"There are a few heart conditions that can cause those symptoms." Petra said gently, breaking the news as carefully as she could. "I absolutely would recommend and Echocardiogram. We need to know what's happening in there."

Levi swallowed nervously.

"I um...I don't have insurance."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Erwin cut in at once, and as Levi turned startled, angry eyes on him, he held up a hand for silence. "I will not hear one word of argument from you, Levi. Or would you like me to take the juvenile route and say 'I told you so'?"

That shut Levi's mouth, but he looked absolutely miserable as he hung his head in defeat. It was a lot for both of them to take in, that Erwin had been right and there was a larger issue with Levi's health.

"I'll send the order to the hospital." Petra said, sensing the darkening mood and moving back behind her desk. "They'll call you when they have an appointment time open. I'll give you a copy of the order to take with you as well."

They sat in silence as Petra took care of the necessary paperwork and made the phone call. When she hung up she stood and walked them toward the door.

"I have to get back to work now I'm afraid." She told them. "I'm glad you came to me, though. I'll expect either a follow-up visit or at least a phone call from one of you once you find out the results of the test."

"Thank you, Petra." Erwin said, but Levi remained silent until they were back in the car. He belted himself in and then released a loud, worried sigh.

"You were right, damn it." He said , sounding too weary to be angry. "I never imagined that there might be something wrong with my _heart_."

Erwin started the car and began to pull out of the parking lot.

"I had hoped I would be wrong...I'm sorry, Levi."

"Don't speak like I really am dying, we don't even know what's really wrong yet."

"Still," Erwin said gently, "I'm sorry that you're having to go through this at all. Not sleeping one night is bad enough, but an entire month...that combined with headaches...I'm sorry."

Levi leaned his head against the glass of the car window, closing his tired eyes.

"Yeah..." He said wearily. "I know you are."

They rode in silence until Erwin pulled up to Levi's dorm. Erwin put the car in park and turned to face his passenger.

"I had better hear from you when the hospital calls to schedule your appointment. I'm going to drive you, so either call my office or drop by to let me know."

Levi didn't move or respond for a few seconds. Then he rolled his head up slowly, gazing out the window without looking at Erwin.

"Why don't you just give me your cell number?" He quietly asked, the softness of his voice surprising Erwin and touching his heart. The implications of a student having a professor's personal cell hung in the silent air between them for a moment before Erwin answered,

"Of course. It would be silly not to at this point."

"Yeah."

Erwin fished around in the compartment between the seats for his small paper pad and pen.  He scrawled his cell number down and tore the page off, handing it to Levi. The young man's slender fingers overlapped Erwin's as he grasped for the page, and they stayed there, holding Erwin's hand captive.

"Prof Smith," Levi said, meeting his gaze, "um...I don't really think you're old."

A large smile spread on Erwin's face at the words, knowing the words were Levi's way of apologizing for his earlier outburst.

"That's good to know." He chuckled warmly. "I'm not actually so much older than you, you know."

Levi pulled his hand back and scoffed.

"Oh really? So how old are you?"

"I'll be thirty in a few months." Erwin admitted. Levi's darkened eyes widened.

"How the hell have I been talking to you all these years and not known we were only 6 years apart?!"

"It never really came up." Erwin said. "I always thought you assumed my age from my youthful looks."

Levi cracked a rare smile at this, and Erwin thought he even spotted a light dusting of pink on his sunken cheeks.

"In your dreams, old man."

With that, in typical Levi fashion, he said nothing more but got out of the car and headed to the dorm. Erwin watched him to be sure he entered the building safely, swiping his student I.D. and waiting for the door to unlock. It somehow comforted Erwin that Levi had gathered up enough energy to quip with him, and even the fact that Levi didn't  turn back or say anything in parting was a good signal; ill or not he was still Levi, after all.

))((

Less than a week later found Erwin and Levi sitting in tense silence in a hospital exam room, waiting on the results of Levi's echocardiogram. Due to yet another round of sleepless nights, Levi did very little complaining throughout the entire procedure, only offering a few helpless grunts and chuckles when the instrument rolled through the medical gel over ticklish areas of his chest. Erwin hadn't even had the heart to tease him about it once Levi was once more dressed and sitting beside him. The nonprofessional, male, part of his brain forced Erwin to appreciate the glimpses of Levi's slender legs he had been granted when the young man had donned his medical gown. The sight of his bare feet at the end of the exam table was a luxury also, sending Erwin's depraved imagination spinning as he watched the delicate bones flexing beneath perfect pale skin. It had almost been a shame when the young man disappeared behind the privacy curtain and then reappeared fully clothed a few minutes later.

They had been fortunate enough to have had an appointment time during which a cardiologist was available to read the results soon after. Thirty minutes later and the door opened, admitting a man in a lab coat and holding a clipboard.

"Good evening, Mr. Ackerman, I have your ECG results for you."

"Give me the bad news." Levi droned, both he and Erwin sensing by the way the man sat down rather than remained standing that it was not good.

"Actually, it could have been far worse." The cardiologist said, pulling a few of the grainy black and white photos from his clipboard and laying them out on the counter. "A heart murmur could mean a variety of serious issues, and thankfully yours is on the milder side."

"What do you mean by that?" Levi asked, unconvinced.

"You have what is known as a secundum atrial septal defect. Now to put that in English for you, it is a condition between the top two chambers of your heart, your atriums. It means that there is a defect in your septum, the wall of cartilage dividing your left and right atriums, that is allowing a surplus flow of blood into your right atrium."

The weight of the news landed heavily on both Erwin and Levi. Despite the doctor's words that it was a milder condition than most, it was still an issue with the heart, and that struck fear into them both. Considering the extend of Levi's symptoms, it was an unspoken fact that he had been living with this growing defect for longer than he had thought.

"By defect," Levi asked in a bit of a rough tone, "do you mean a hole?"

"Essentially yes." The cardiologist answered, holding up one of the images. "Look here; you see this dark spot? That's the defect, or hole, in your septum. Blood is supposed to flow right to left in the heart, not the other way around. The oxygenated blood on the left, with a secundum atrial septal defect, mixes with the deoxygenated blood on the right. This mixing is what causes your insomnia, the headaches, your lack of appetite, your mood changes, etc. When the blood is not properly sent flowing through the heart it affects the rest of you in pretty harmful ways."

"So...I have to have heart surgery."

It was a statement more than a question, as though Levi was resigning himself to the frightening prospect. Erwin's own heart throbbed in fear for his favored student. The doctor kindly nodded, speaking more softly.

"It is nothing so serious as open-heart surgery, son; this surgery is carried out laparoscopically, you wouldn't even have any scars. The surgeon makes an incision into your right atrium in order to locate the defect in the septum and patch it up. Some defects are small enough to simply be sewn together, but I'm afraid yours is a bit larger. It is a mercy you came to us when you did; the longer a large defect is neglected the higher the risk for pulmonary vascular obstructive disease."

In the short silence that followed, Erwin could sense Levi's fear even though his face remained stoically set into the same neutral frown. He desperately wanted to take his hand at that moment, upon seeing the very slight tremor that was causing the fingers to shake.

"So what do I do now?" Levi asked, admiringly sounding calm and composed.

"I would recommend that we schedule you for surgery immediately."

The doctor's eyes held the question, searching Levi's lowered gaze for a sign that he understood. The young man swallowed a few times before taking a deep breath and asking,

"Can you, um, tell me a bit about what my recovery would look like? I'm hoping to graduate from college in two months. Should I arrange to push my last semester back?"

Shaking his head, the cardiologist modified his tone once more to have a positive edge.

"There's nothing to worry about there, son, as this surgery is far less invasive. The recovery period is relatively short, and you can be back to your daily life in perhaps six days overall. You would need to have a series of antibiotic injections for four to six months after the surgery, however. That will be the most bothersome part of this for you, I think. It shouldn't interfere with your studies at all, you would just obviously need to inform your teachers."

Another serious silence fell in the room as Levi tried to absorb all he had just been told. The pressure of having to make a decision that, ultimately, only had one answer, was crushing him.

"I...I need a minute to think." He said finally. "With you." He added, nodding at Erwin.

"Take all the time you need." The doctor said, rising. "I'll write my recommendation for surgery, and leave it at the desk for you. Take care, now."

As soon as the door closed behind the man Levi bent forward, clutching his midsection and gasping hard like he was going to be sick.

"Levi!"

Erwin laid both of his hands on Levi's trembling shoulders without thinking, gripping him firmly to try and steady him. The young man rocked slightly where he hunched over, gasping loudly.

"I'm alright, I'm alright..." He muttered between great intakes of shuddering breath. "I just feel sick...god, heart surgery..."

Erwin knew the best course of action at the moment would probably be to give Levi space, but the overwhelming need to comfort, to protect, drew him in closer. He knelt beside Levi on the cold hospital floor and began rubbing warm circles between his shoulder blades, his other hand soothing the same pattern into his forearm. Erwin had never seen Levi even close to this upset before, let alone shaking almost violently, nearly hyperventilating, his eyes wider than he'd ever seen them before. One trembling hand came up to cup his mouth as though willing himself not to vomit, the deep breaths huffing out through his nose now.

"Levi, Levi, it's alright." Erwin attempted a calming tone, but Levi suddenly shook his head and turned his crazed eyes upon him.

"No its not." He babbled through his hand, his tone thin, high, and frantic. "I can't afford this, Erwin, I can't afford surgery let alone the hospital stay and the in-injections. You can't afford it either, it's not like your insurance will cover it and-."

"Now you shut up right this second!" Erwin demanded, all gentleness gone and his voice firm and commanding. His compassion was now overcome with anger. "Are you telling me that after everything we just heard, the required surgery, the photos of the _hole_ in your heart, that the _cost_ is what's making you this upset? Did you really think that after all this time I'd turn a blind eye to your needs? Have you so little faith in me?"

 As was oddly typical with Levi, he responded to the harshness rather than the tenderness, making him focus on Erwin, his expression raw, open, and lost.

"B-ut-."

"I said hush!" Erwin demanded again at the endeavored protest, bringing one large hand almost roughly to the back of Levi's head. The action was meant to force Levi to listen, to look into his face, to be grounded in what Erwin was saying to him. "Levi, I will always have more money. I have a good job, and am not hurting for funds in the slightest. You know nothing about my financial state, neither is it any of your business. All you need to concern yourself with is being made well again. For once in your life, trust someone, Levi. Trust me."

The longer Erwin spoke, the easier Levi's breathing became. The firm tone the man took was a bit contradictory to the sweet words he was speaking, but Levi had never been one to receive sympathy easily, and he was more accepting of this tactic. He stared, wide-eyed and helpless into Erwin's steady gaze, until another large shudder went through him and pulled himself to sit up straight in his chair once more. His slender body still shook, but the wild look had thankfully gone from his eyes.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" He ground out roughly. Erwin felt a twinge of pain at the words. It wasn't exactly what he'd hoped to hear, but it was a start. The larger man seated himself beside Levi once more, continuing to rub his back. The young man made no effort to stop him. Time seemed to freeze as they sat there, both of them calming down. The soft footfalls of passing medical staff and the beeping of equipment and pagers filtered in through the heavy door, the only sounds in the quiet. Finally Levi spoke, his tone much softer than before,

"I hope you don't mind that I called you 'Erwin' back there..."

The blond man blinked, realizing in hindsight that Levi had indeed called him by his first name in the midst of his nerves. He smiled, chuckling softly and running his hand up to pat the back of Levi's head, feeling the smooth texture of the closely shaved hair.

"Think nothing of it you little runt."

There was a moment where he didn't know how Levi was taking his light-hearted taunt. Then he felt the vibration in Levi's neck, and heard the small, thankful laugh. He felt his own lips turn up in a smile, and he removed his hand as Levi sat up once more.

"Let's just get this over with." Levi said with a sigh. "If it can't be avoided, let's just do it."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Erwin asked, trying hard not to sound overly concerned and irritate Levi, but unable to keep the gentle tone from escaping. Levi nodded, rubbing his hands over his face.

"It doesn't matter whether I am or not." Levi said resignedly, meeting Erwin's eyes again. His face was calm now, in a deflated kind of way. "Let's just get out there and schedule the surgery before I make a run for it."

Having nothing else to say in response, Erwin stood, and patted Levi on the shoulder. He knew that the young man would follow him when he began heading toward the door. Erwin grinned to himself as he heard the footsteps trailing behind him and sensed, more than felt, a tiny grip on the loose-hanging sleeve of his jacket.

))((

The digital clock on his phone screen read 4:35 am. Levi Lay in his bottom bunk, groggy but unfortunately still awake as he scrolled through an informative website about his heart condition on his phone. While he had tried to keep himself from researching it and scaring himself further, the pull of knowledge and the ease with which it could be accessed had sucked him in.

The bunk above him creaked slightly and he heard a faint male groan as his roommate stirred briefly from sleep. As always the sound caused a stab of envy to pierce Levi's defective heart, as though the other young man was trying to rub it in his face that he was sleeping and Levi was not. This was absurd, Levi knew, as Eren was the type of person who was so utterly good and kind that he might actually feel guilty about getting a good night's sleep if he knew it taunted Levi. The kid was only one year Levi's junior, but he acted so innocent at times that Levi almost felt like his own personality would poison Eren's pure spirit. When they had been placed together in Freshmen year Levi had thought that the cheery aura surrounding the brunette would fade over the years of crushing academic requirements and the personal drama that a sap like Eren was bound to be caught up in. Levi had been surprised when Eren had proved him wrong, maintaining his happy-go-lucky personality even in response to a few very hurtful comments that Levi had hurled at him the last four years when the stress broke his restraint.

With a tiny chuckle in the dark, Levi thought about how the young man would react when he told him why he'd be leaving the dorm for a few days. He could just picture it now; those huge green eyes of Eren's widening further with sickeningly genuine concern and the long rant he would no doubt go on about how Levi needed to place more trust in him and should have told him from the beginning that something was wrong. Levi conceded to himself that the brat had gotten away with enough in their time as roommates and...friends...dragging him out to parties and events, eating with him whenever they ran into each other in the cafeteria, even trying to set him up with a few girls he had met through his sporting activities. Again Levi found himself grinning; bluntly revealing to Eren after the third attempted fix-up that he liked men had been one of the most comedic moments in his student life. Eren had quite literally done a double-take and started to sputter like he had never learned how to speak. Without the boy getting one more word in, Levi had assured him blandly that he had nothing to worry about, that he wasn't after Eren's ass, but rather someone higher up on the food chain than a wimpy romantic sap like him. Although in hindsight, Levi had to admit to himself that the fiery blush that had consumed Eren's cheeks had been absolutely adorable.

With a sigh, Levi turned his mind back from Eren and his responsibility to tell him due to their longstanding proximity, to the webpage that had darkened from his lack of scrolling. It lit up again as his thumb swiped past the text. He knew that researching his own condition could exacerbate his fears, but as his surgery had been scheduled for tomorrow....well, today, he decided there was little harm in it. The problem would god-willing be fixed before the day was out.

Suddenly, a text came through. Levi's sagging eyelids lifted in surprise to see who it was from. Levi was still adjusting to Prof Smith actually texting him. It had been three days and he had already lost count of how many messages they had sent between them.

_Let me guess, still awake?_

The young man rolled his eyes affectionately and tapped out a response.

_Stellar guess, Aristotle >:(  what are you even doing awake right now?_

_My cat woke me up and I thought about you_

Levi had no idea what to make of that, but a little stream of mirth bubbled through him at the statement. He found that lately, in spite of his condition, he had been smiling and chuckling more with Prof Smith, with Erwin, than he had in a long time.

_I'm sorry I asked_

_Have you packed yet? Everything you need?_

_God, you're such a mother-hen..._

_Is that a yes, little chick?_

_> :( don't call me little, old man! But I'm going to pack in a few hours, so I won't bug Eren_

_You haven't told him yet, have you..._

_.............I wouldn't survive his sympathy if I told him earlier than five minutes before I leave._

_Well, I'll try to spare you by being on time to pick you up_

Levi didn't answer that one right away, just letting his sore, tired eyes read and re-read the last three words of that text. He had fought against having what he considered 'romantic' delusions about anyone, his childhood watching his mother dream away her life while selling her body making sure of that. However, with Prof Smith it had been different since Levi's first semester. The man was striking with his impressive height, broad shoulders, and light blond hair offsetting bright blue eyes. Levi would have had to be made of stone not to have been attracted immediately. He was well aware of the impossibility of a student dating a teacher, but that did not stop him from spending as much time with Prof Smith as he could in his student capacity. Levi was very intuitive, and could sense over the years of their acquaintance that Prof Smith at least minimally thought he was attractive as well.

Rather than being a self-centered fantasy, this conclusion  had been reached by Levi using his worldly-wise observation talents to spot this truth. The blond man would steal glances at him when Levi seemed oblivious, he took opportunities to innocently touch Levi if he could, and as much of a bleeding heart as Levi had seen Erwin have there was no way he would go so far as to pay for a surgery out of pocket for someone he didn't deeply care for. Levi was convinced that the man felt something for him, and as much as it thrilled him the constant dark pessimism he seemed to have been born with always whispered to him that he was fooling himself. If nothing else, Levi knew he couldn't even consider the possibility of a relationship with Erwin before graduation, which was just one more reason on the long list of many why he _had_ to graduate on time. He was very aware, however, that in spite of his clever mind and all his knowledge, he might be utterly wrong. That thought frightened him more than any other.

One somewhat soothing thought was that Prof Smith was in fact, gay. It was not a well-known fact by any means. Levi didn't even know if anyone else on campus really knew. Prof Smith was not open with such knowledge and Levi only found out by accident.

More than accident it was like an overwhelming coincidence; he had been avoiding Eren one afternoon in his sophomore year, as the young man had been smothering him with stories about his new, cute girlfriend every second. For Levi it wasn't enough to hide somewhere on campus where Eren might possibly find him, like the library or an empty classroom. To be absolutely sure he wouldn't be discovered by anyone, Levi had actually hauled his backpack full of textbooks into a broad-limbed oak tree that sat a hundred yards or so into the trees that surrounded one of the faculty lots on campus. The tree was very old and the limbs were so thick around that Levi could sit comfortably cross-legged for hours as he read and did his homework. There was even a sturdy stump where one of the branches had snapped off where Levi hung his backpack. He grew to like the tree as his need to escape grew over those few weeks that Eren was immersed in 'first love bliss'. One of the evenings that Levi had been studying in the tree a voice reached his ears from below. Every now and again as the teachers came and went to their cars he'd hear them humming, talking to each other if more than one were leaving at a time, but this time it was Prof Smith's voice he heard, and he had been on his phone. Levi could just barely see him through the covering of leaves between where he sat high in the tree and the lot, but the man's voice had been unmistakable to him by now. Through the conversation Levi gathered that Erwin had actually been speaking with his mother, and even when he got into his car the window had been rolled down. Erwin had been assuring his mother (who had undoubtedly called to check in on him by the sound of things) that he was doing fine after a recent breakup with a man named Paul. Levi had perked his ears up when he heard that, listening intently as Erwin had told his mother that this Paul had been too much of a controlling bastard. He had gone on to say that he wished he could just find someone who could balance him out, love him, and enjoy being loved in return.

To say that hearing these words hadn't caused Levi's pulse to speed up would be an outright lie. As much as Levi detested the idea of 'crushes' or dreaming about true love, he couldn't help that he was still stirred by the prospect. It was true, he knew very little about love. His mother had not been abusive, nor unkind to him as she raised him, but he had found it hard to accept that someone who was supposed to love him so much would allow him to be exposed to what she did for a living. From a very young age Levi knew his mother was a prostitute, and could even witness it to an extent from the sounds that would filter through his wall at night. Somehow there had been a disconnect in his brain when his mother had told him that she did what she did for him, in order to bring him up. This had planted the seed in Levi that drove him to rely on himself rather than anyone else. It had pushed him to the top of his class in high school, had granted him scholarships, and had made him struggle harder than he had in his entire life when Prof Smith showed him such kindness.

_Levi?_

The text mercifully shook Levi out of his wandering reveries, and he texted back,

_Yeah I'm here. You should go back to sleep, I want you alert when you drive me tomorrow_

_Good luck telling Eren. Call me if you need someone to pry him off you with a crowbar._

_Will do. Goodnight._

_Good morning :)_

_Shut up. Bye._

))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((

 

All the arrangements had been made. Levi's teachers had all prepared him his assignments ahead of time or extending the deadlines for him. It was Friday, ensuring that at least three of his hospitalization days would not be during the school week. Being a senior, Levi graciously only had three classes this semester anyhow, making the workload easier had he been in tip-top shape. Once he got out of this hospital Levi was determined to recover his grades.

Sitting here now, in the humiliating hospital gown, it was more difficult to imagine himself capable of that level of hard work, a level that he easily tackled in the past. Levi was just so tired he could barely think straight let alone truly pay attention to the nurse's words as she pierced his hand with the IV needle. He managed in his muddled brain to gather that he would need to be hooked up to the IV for a while before he was taken into surgery. Between all the forms he'd had to fill out, as well as all the forms he'd had to watch Prof Smith fill out, Levi's mind was even more fatigued. Erwin and Levi had not spoken much on their trip to the hospital. Some playful bantering about how Eren's reaction to Levi's news had been just what they were expecting, but beyond that nothing of import. It seemed unreal, like Levi was living in a strange dream. Just a few days ago he had been told of his condition and now he was slotted for surgery in about an hour.

Nothing had ever made Levi so nervous. He had always had utter confidence in himself, but with every tick of the clock on the plain hospital wall his iron will was crumbling.

"How are you doing, Levi?" Erwin asked, once the nurse had left and they were alone in the room. The young man smoothed his hands over the thin material over his thighs, eyes closed for a moment before looking at his professor. The man looked disgustingly healthy and alert, his eyes bright and blue as always, and his casual clothing choice of sweater and jeans made him look much more...normal...than Levi had ever seen him.

"I don't really know yet to be honest. Not so great, I guess." He gave a massive sigh. Erwin had been sitting in the chair by the window, but at Levi's tired words he stood and moved to the one right beside the bed. He could sense Levi's nervousness even if the raven-haired youth was doing his best to appear strong. His blue-grey eyes were heavy, the circles beneath them darker than Erwin had seen them before.

"Levi, have you ever had any kind of surgery before?"

The young man chuckled softly and reached up with his free hand to push the long black bangs back from his face.

"You're starting to sound like those forms I just had to fill out."

"I'm only curious. It always helps if you've experienced it before."

Tilting his head in thought, Levi admitted,

"I did have my wisdom teeth pulled when I was fourteen."  

Erwin placed his hand on the plastic bar of the bed, tapping it mindlessly with his fingers.

"Well, that's something, I suppose. Did they put you under for that?"

"Yeah. I guess I should say that they had to cut them out; they had become impacted before they had even broke through my gums. So I had to be put out and then my face was swollen like a chipmunk for a week afterwards."

Unable to hold in his amusement at that image, Erwin laughed. Levi glared at him without any real malice.

"It's not funny! It was really painful."

"I'm sorry," Erwin chuckled, turning in the chair to face Levi more directly, "I just couldn't imagine your narrow face being puffed up like that!"

"Yeah, well..." Levi gave a tiny grin, trailing off and leaning back against the bed. In the silence that surrounded them, the weight of why they were here seemed to rest upon them both, just as it had several days ago upon hearing the news.

"What time is it?" Levi asked a few moments later. Erwin checked his watch, not commenting on the fact that there was a clock on the wall well within sight. Levi had kept his eyes closed all this time, resting his tired lids.

"10:16."

"About 35 minutes..." Levi muttered, taking a deep breath and shifting on the bed to curl onto his side toward Erwin. For some reason seeing Levi in that position made Erwin's heart jump. He looked so vulnerable lying there on his side, his thin legs drawing up closer to his body and his arms tucked against his stomach. Erwin couldn't help himself in the pause that followed, he slid one hand out and laid it on Levi's shoulder.

"The waiting is the hardest." The young man said in response to the touch, rather than shucking it off. "I wish they could just it over with already."

"It'll be fine, Levi, these surgeons have done this thousands of times before."

"I know, I know..." Levi sighed, his voice losing its edge and breaking a bit. "But...just being put under anesthetic is a risk. They're shoving a fucking rod into my heart."

"To fix the hole." Erwin countered gently. Levi's hands clenched and his shoulder began to tremble beneath the large hand.

"I said I know!" 

The words were shaky, broken, and helpless. Erwin was still unused to hearing Levi speak like that. He missed the cocky, scathing tone and the long debates. Right now, however, the poor young man was simply afraid, and Erwin couldn't blame him in the slightest. Erwin could not help being afraid for him as well, for that miniscule percentage of failure. He stood from the chair in order to lean over the bed, rubbing Levi's back with his other hand, as he had done a few days before. It was a hypnotic motion for Erwin, smoothing circles over the slender bows of Levi's shoulder blades, feeling the soothing heat generated by the friction. He could only hope that his student found it just as comforting.

"Levi...it's alright to be frightened, you know. There's no shame in it. I can tell this is hard on you, and you don't need to hide anything from me."

Levi's closed eyes squeezed tighter still as he pressed the side of his face deeper into his pillow. His small body began to shake slightly, and his lips parted on his increasing breaths. Erwin spotted those dark grey-blue eyes flutter open briefly beneath long black lashes.

"I'm just so tired..." Levi said softly, barely above a whisper. "I'm so tired and I'm..."

As Levi trailed off, Erwin lifted the hand that rested on Levi's shoulder, running it gently through surprisingly silky black hair. He had wanted to do that for years.

"After this, you'll be able to sleep for as long as you want." He told Levi softly. "You'll get through this surgery and then you'll feel so much better."

For a few silent moments Levi simply lay beneath Erwin's comforting caresses, shaking and trying to breathe as evenly as he could. The sweet, warm touches finally prompted Levi to sit up. Erwin was honestly taken by surprise when Levi wrapped his slender arms around his broad torso and leaned his face against his chest. He could feel those thin hands clinging tightly to the back of his sweater, the plastic IV tube trailing around him from Levi's left hand. Erwin carefully placed his own arms around the young man at last. Levi began to shudder, holding onto him desperately as he fought with the urge to weep. No tears escaped his eyes, but dry sobs left him, sounding loud in the quiet of the room. Erwin pulled him closer as his mind caught up and he realized that Levi was actually embracing him, willingly. While the warmth of the small body felt so wonderful, it hurt Erwin that the young man was so broken, so afraid. He would never do something like this if he wasn't suffering so much. At the same time it felt incredible to be able to hold him, comfort him. It was all Erwin had wanted to do since he began sensing Levi's troubles over a month ago.

"It's going to be alright." He said quietly, not wanting to sound like he was addressing a child, but wanting to speak soothingly. "I'm going to be here with you every step of the way whether you like it or not."  

Levi continued to cling to him, shaking to pieces in Erwin's arms as he let the fear drain out of him in loud, uneven breaths. As the moments ticked by the young man did not release him as Erwin thought he would, but rather began pulling him insistently until Erwin was literally forced to crawl onto the mattress beside Levi. Ignoring the professional side of his mind nagging at him, Erwin settled comfortably on his side, facing Levi, and pulled the smaller man flush against his chest. His large hands cupped the slender lines of Levi's back and shoulders, feeling the shuddering warmth of his body as it pressed into his own. Once Erwin was completely embracing him like that, wrapped around him, enveloping him, Levi began to calm down. The strong circle of those arms was unlike anything he had felt before. No other person had ever held him this way, let alone in his time of need. His breaths slowly evened out and puffed hot and steady into Erwin's shoulder where his dark head was nestled.

"Erwin," Levi whispered after a few moments, "can we just stay like this for a while...please?"

The blond man minutely tightened his hold on Levi, pressing his face against the side of Levi's head. It was starting to feel right, hearing his first name on that boy's lips...

"Of course."  

His heart soared when Erwin felt that body literally collapse against his own, going completely limp in his arms. The longer he held Levi, the more he could feel the beating of his heart, which was soon to be under the knife, regardless of how small. They lay that way, silently steeping in the heat of their bodies, for a very long time before Erwin could not help glancing at the clock. He had no shame in holding his student like this, given the circumstances, but he also was aware that it might not be the best idea for the nurses to walk in on them like that. For a very long time neither of them was willing to move, to break the unearthly stasis that had seemed to fall over them. Whatever would happen between them after this, this moment was crystalline, pure, and beautiful.

"Levi, it's almost time." Erwin whispered into Levi's hair, which smelled strongly of shampoo. Shifting in Erwin's arms, Levi pulled back and rested his head on the pillow, looking up into Erwin's eyes.

"Prof S--Erwin..." He said quietly, looking unutterably exhausted. "I know what they've all told me about the surgery being safe, but...just in case anything goes wrong and-"

"Hush, Levi-."

"-if anything happens to me," Levi insisted, "I want you to know something."

"Yes?" Erwin asked, unsuspecting. The next second Levi's free hand slid up Erwin's jaw, and his full lips were suddenly pressed against Erwin's own. Warm, soft, and so very, very sweet. The older man didn't have time to process what Levi was actually doing before the contact was broken and Levi pulled back. There was a bright flush suddenly dusting his very pale cheekbones, and he was not making any attempt to look up at Erwin.

"Levi..." Erwin muttered, shocked. "I...had no idea..."

"You do now." Levi whispered roughly. "Do what you want with the news, but I couldn't face even the smallest chance of dying without doing that."

Erwin opened his mouth, not even really knowing what he was going to say, but a knock at the door of the room cut him off. Erwin quickly but carefully eased off the bed to stand beside it, letting one hand linger on Levi's shoulder. This time it was more for his own benefit rather than Levi's, as his head was spinning both from moving so quickly after lying down so long, and from being blindsided.

"Come in." He called, wondering if he looked like a deer in the headlights, still feeling the warmth of those lips on his mouth.

A male and female nurse entered the room with a gurney.

"Are you ready, Mr. Ackerman?" The woman asked, coming over to removed the IV shunt.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Levi muttered, reaching up unexpectedly to touch Erwin's hand where it rested on his shoulder. He squeezed a little in response as the nurse did her work.

"We're going to need you to get on the gurney, please." The other nurse said, and Levi carefully slid from the bed and climbed up on the thin mattress-covered metal frame of the gurney. The male nurse lifted the back so that Levi would be lying at an incline.

"Would you like to come down to the waiting room, sir?" The female nurse asked Erwin. He nodded, and followed them as they wheeled Levi out of the room and down the hall. The atmosphere was tense as they took an elevator and walked down a long few hallways. At a set of double doors the nurses informed Erwin he'd have to wait at the adjacent waiting room.

"How long will this take again?" Levi asked quietly.

"A half hour, give or take a  few minutes." The female nurse told him gently.

"Alright. See you later, Erwin." Levi said, casting a tiny grin at the tall man. Erwin, however, saw so much more in that glance. It was a plea for support, a 'thank-you', a flash of fear, and possibly a goodbye. In the split second that Erwin had to try and relate as much with his own expression, the nurses readied to take Levi away.

"Take care, Levi."

Then the gurney was pushed through the double doors and out of sight, leaving Erwin with one last glimpse of Levi's grey-blue eyes, glistening slightly, with tears.

))((

TBC

 (End of Part 1) (Don't worry, Part Two is in rapid production :D )


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two:

))((

It was remarkable, Erwin thought to himself, how childlike a person of any age could look in sleep. As he sat there in the familiar hospital room, directly beside Levi's bed and watching him, Erwin could not help but think how much like a little boy Levi looked at the moment. His normally neutral or serious face was smoothed by sleep into a soft peaceful expression that gave him an almost doll-like appearance. The exception was still the dark circles beneath his eyes that would take a few days of recovery to fade. Still, the sight of his dark head tilted slightly on the pillow was one that Erwin found very endearing. At this angle his long bangs draped over his forehead and temples in soft black strands, framing his thin face beautifully. Erwin had to wonder at first how someone who had just been through surgery could look so striking. It had not taken him long to comprehend that it was simply due to the fact that Levi was _sleeping_ , deeper and longer than he had in god knew how long. No pain or frustration tugged his brows down over his eyes, no firmly set jaw to hide his suffering. Instead, Levi's chin was lax enough for his lips to hang open slightly and provide a channel for his deep breaths. Erwin was frankly enjoying the sight of those full lips on such display, unable to forget the brief feel of them against his own.

 After the longest thirty minutes of his life, during which Erwin found sitting in the waiting room's cushioned chairs somehow incredibly uncomfortable, Levi's gurney had reappeared from beyond the double doors. The surgery had gone smoothly, Erwin had been told, no complications and an easy recovery prospective. While they had been assured from the start that this was the outcome, it was still an enormous relief. Levi had not woken up yet, but Erwin would never wish to rush him. It had been four hours and still the young man slept, blissful and unwilling to wake up. Erwin was glad of this for two reasons. For one, obviously he was so very happy to see Levi being able to rest, but for another it gave Erwin a chance to think. Levi had given him a lot to consider with that kiss.  

Erwin had been battling his attraction to Levi for years, wanting him so very badly but knowing it was wrong. He was a helpless romantic when it came down to it, and adult or no, he could not help the allure of the fantasy and danger of a teacher/student relationship. Erwin had never really had a 'type' when it came to the men he dated, but Levi had very quickly become his ideal. He loved how small Levi was, imagining how well they would fit together physically, but strong at the same time and able to give Erwin trouble if he wanted. That dark hair was lovely too, a very true raven color that many had to dye their hair to achieve. His pouty lips, high cheekbones, and narrow grey eyes made his face irresistible to Erwin. Those eyes were a unique color, appearing an iron-grey at first glance but truly they were a very dark blue. That neck of his...Erwin had always had a weakness for long, slender necks even back when he was a pre-teen and still chasing after girls. There was something so very elegant about that type of neck that made Erwin's lips tingle with desire to smother it in kisses.

These thoughts about Levi had been a constant comfort and torment to Erwin over the past four years. It was incredibly unethical for a professor to 'have a crush' on one of his students. Well, no, Erwin had told himself over and over again; it was wrong to _engage_ in a _romantic relationship_ with one of his students. He could like Levi all he wanted and he was not technically breaking the code of ethics. That was why he had allowed himself to spend so much time with him, talking and debating, bonding. In retrospect Erwin had realized that rather than helping, this had only made his attraction deeper as he grew to know the young man, his habits and quirks, his very self. Levi had, whether he knew it or not, revealed his inner most self to Erwin through their various conversations, and the man knew what he was all about. He was a young man whose exterior had been hardened to toughness by circumstance, while his core had been forged into a gold that glowed with kindness, humor, and purity. Underneath his cursing, his frowning, and his indifferent attitude lingered a very sensitive young man who revealed himself when the situation demanded him.

The professor smiled when he thought of how Levi had handled Eren this morning, that golden center shining through his irritation. He had seen it from the car, Levi carrying his overnight bag toward the glass doors of the dorm with Eren trailing him, speaking animatedly. At the door Levi stopped and said something, looking laughably short beside his younger roommate. Erwin never asked what he had said, but Eren had fallen silent. There had been a short pause before the younger man had leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Levi and hugging him tight. Pushing down a ridiculous tide of jealousy, Erwin watched, expecting Levi to shove Eren off. Instead the shorter man had lifted his arms and patted the younger on the back, letting him hang on for another few seconds.  Unable to pass up the opportunity, Erwin had teased Levi about it when he had gotten in the car, implying that perhaps he was going soft. Levi had tiredly told him to shut up, but had not argued more than that.

He truly was a kind young man, and Erwin thought that his natural sternness only served to highlight the utter truth of that observation when his kindness did come out. Due to his past Levi could have turned out much differently. With his damaged emotions and his intellect he could have easily become involved with crime. For a very long time Erwin had known that Levi would have made a ridiculously successful criminal had he chosen to follow that path. From what Levi had revealed he had turned down the opportunity when his very own uncle offered to initiate him into his meth business when Levi was only fifteen. Meth _kingdom_ was more like, from what Levi had said. His uncle had been the only male role model he had had growing up, strong, smart, but wrapped up in the darkness of the drug world. His involvement in Levi's life had added to his struggles due to the fact that as father figures go he was actually a very strong one, but his morals were 'bi-polar', as Levi put it.

As Erwin stared at the peaceful face that rested on the pillow, he had to think it was a miracle that Levi was here now, dean's list student, about to graduate and with a job lined up, and still so very sweet at his center. He really was a wonder, and Erwin could not help loving him. And now...Levi had revealed that he cared for Erwin as well. At least, that's the only way Erwin could interpret a deliberate kiss on the lips. Levi had been trying to tell him with that small action, that he cared. It was too much to hope for despite that it had actually happened. There were questions Erwin wished to ask, to confirm his hopes. His soul was singing at the prospect of Levi actually returning his affections just as deeply, and what their future could hold together if he did.

A small hitch in Levi's previously even breathing caught Erwin's attention. He sat up in the chair, having been lounging. Levi's brows twitched a little, and his fingers flexed on the blanket. A moment later those lovely lips formed a wide O as Levi yawned, rolling his head upward so it lay in the center of the pillow. His eyes flickered as he slowly came back to wakefulness. Erwin rose from his seat to stand over Levi, laying  hand to his shoulder and rubbing softly. 

"Morning, sunshine." He said quietly, when those blue-grey eyes eased open to focus on him. They were filled with confusion for a few seconds, before they slid closed again. He didn't move again for a moment or two and Erwin thought he had fallen asleep again until a very small smile curled Levi's lips.

"I slept."

The two words, spoken in a voice raw from the anesthetic, were the sweetest Erwin had ever heard Levi speak before. He didn't say anything, basking in the words as Levi did as well. The young man swallowed a moment later and his brows furrowed with displeasure.

"Is there water?"

"Yes, hold on."

Erwin pulled the rolling tray closer to the bed, pouring water from the pitcher that had been left there for them into the plastic cup.

"Here, I put a straw in it for you and everything." Erwin chuckled, holding the cup out to Levi.

Groaning slightly, Levi eased into a semi-sitting position on the tilted bed and reached for the water.

"Thanks." He muttered, grasping the straw with his lips and sucking quickly to coat his dry mouth with the cold liquid. After nearly drinking the entire cup, Levi pulled back. "So, I'm still alive."

"Alive and well. Everything went perfectly and you'll be out of here tomorrow."

Levi went back to suckling from the straw, reclining into his previous position. He had to take a break from drinking to yawn again, lifting one hand to cover his mouth this time.

"How long was I out?"

"About four hours after surgery. It's a little after 3:00. I drew the curtains so it would be dim in here for you."

Levi nodded, still looking a bit fuzzed. Erwin had to pour him another water before he spoke again, his eyes drooping and his tone tired.

"I think I'm gonna go back to sleep...now that I can."

Unable to help the huge smile that spread on his lips at these words, Erwin leaned over him to rub his shoulder once more. The action was becoming endearingly familiar.

"Get as much sleep as you can. You have a lot to make up for, after all."

Levi took a few more sips before he handed his cup back to Erwin. He then rolled onto his side, arms wrapped around his pillow as he curled over it, yawning again.

"Erwin...I haven't said it yet, but..." Levi trailed off, as though reluctant to speak. Erwin didn't press him, but waited patiently while the young man struggled with whatever it was he wanted to say.

"What I mean to say, is...if you hadn't...I don't know what..."

A smile spread on Erwin's lips, but he still said nothing, his heart warming. Levi took a little cleansing breath and tried one more time,

"Thank you, Erwin...for all of this. You um...you've saved my life here..."

The older man knew he should put distance between them, but he could not pull his hand away, especially after Levi had said something so sweet.

"You're welcome, Levi. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Erwin's hand eventually it made its own rebellious way up to the back of Levi's neck again, where it began to pet soothingly. Levi relaxed completely, making no move to protest. After a few more moments without Erwin moving away, however, he did speak up.

"You don't have to stay here, you know." Levi mumbled, lips pressed to the pillowcase. "If you have papers to grade or some boring, important shit to do..."

"I'm not going anywhere." Erwin said firmly. "I have to stay here to be sure you don't terrorize the nurses."

Levi let out a helpless chuckle of pure mirth, and it warmed Erwin's heart.

"Yeah, well, I suppose that's a noble cause." Levi admitted, turning his head on the pillow, those dark eyes flicking up toward Erwin. Their gazes held for a moment before the air turned slightly tense. They were very close, as the bed had been raised a bit and Erwin was leaning over it, and they both seemed to realize it at the same time. The big hand that lay at Levi's neck now felt very intimate, and their proximity as well. The faint blush that Erwin spotted rising on Levi's cheeks told him that Levi was thinking about the same thing he was: that kiss.

 For another moment the atmosphere bordered on awkward, and when Erwin sensed Levi was about to say something, he spoke first.

"We don't have to talk about it right now." Erwin said gently, moving his intrusive hand down from Levi's neck to pat the back of his hand instead. "Wait until you fully rest up, alright?"

Levi looked like he wanted to argue, but was too tired, and resigned with a small nod of agreement.

"That being said..." The words slipped unintentionally from Erwin's lips, from a place deep in his heart that he had not meant to open at this moment. He found his pulse racing as he was tempted to...Levi was just lying there so vulnerable beneath him and...his face was so calm...those lips were so full...god he was going to...Levi's eyes widened as Erwin leaned down close, only to flutter closed when his professor's mouth pressed against his own. The kiss lingered for a second or two, just the gentle pressure of lips, before Erwin pulled back. Levi's eyes stayed closed, his lips still parted as though willing Erwin's to return to them. When they did open it was only slightly, as they were hazy with desire. That expression caused a knot to twist in Erwin's gut, and it took all of his control not to dive right back in and ravish Levi's mouth. But now was not the time. He forced himself to step back, and slowly relax into the chair that stood close to Levi's bedside.

"Rest now, Levi. We'll talk later, I promise."

The young man stared straight into Erwin's blue eyes for as long as he could before his weariness tugged them closed. In the silence that followed, however, he extended his hand forward on the mattress and opened his palm in invitation. Erwin hesitated briefly, but then slid his own hand over the thinner one. The fingers were cool as they loosely wrapped around his own large palm, and Erwin spotted yet another faint smile as Levi drifted off to sleep, still holding his hand.

)))(((

The following morning when Erwin arrived at the hospital it was to find Levi still asleep. It had been all he could do to wait until 9:00, but he had known there would be no point to go earlier when Levi wouldn't be awake yet. According to the nurses he hadn't even woken when they regularly checked his vitals throughout the night. The curtains in the room were open this time, and the faint September sunlight poured through the window. Erwin was glad for it after sitting all day in the dark yesterday. He smiled at the lounging form on the bed; Levi looked less doll-like now after an entire night of deep sleep, with his hair in disarray and his body sprawled between messy sheets. Obviously he had moved a bit in his sleep, as both of his thin legs were exposed and his upper body as well. Indeed the only part of him covered by the blankets was his midsection, around which the sheets and blankets were bunched, twisted and wrapped. Erwin found himself fighting a burst of laughter at the sight of him. Before he could stop himself the temptation had tugged him over to Levi's bedside and made him press a delicate kiss to his forehead. He half-hoped that this small action would wake Levi up, but he was disappointed.

He shucked out of his jacket, turned to the small table in the room, and placed his briefcase down on it before sitting down and bringing out the stack of papers that he had neglected the previous day. He worked through the stack until mid-morning, time flying as he had to concentrate on the work. His red pen moved swiftly, page after page, pointing out errors and suggesting alterations. This was a stack from his freshman classes, so there were many mistakes. The juvenile writing of a few made him cringe, while others proved that they had actually paid attention in high school.  

"Do you even have a life?"

Erwin looked up as the soft words broke through the tranquility of the room. He had been so focused on his grading that he had not even noticed that Levi had opened his eyes. They were staring at him now, bright and alert, one thin brow raised teasingly. Erwin fought the need to smile, instead pulling a thoughtful expression and nodding contemplatively.

"Occasionally." He answered. "I do dine out at a sushi restaurant every other Friday."

Levi gave him a sardonic look, and turned over onto his back with a sigh and a groan, saying,

"That's sad, old man."

Erwin grinned, glad to hear the Levi he knew coming back. He watched as Levi stretched carefully, arching his back and then pushing himself up. His hair was still tousled from being smashed against the pillows, and as he sat up straight he began running his fingers through it.

"Had a good sleep, then?" Erwin asked, splitting his attention between Levi and the paper before him.

"God, yes." Levi sighed. "But I want a shower. I feel disgusting."

"I'd ask the nurse first." Erwin cautioned, unable to keep from feeling concerned when Levi slid his legs over the side of the bed and stood carefully on his feet.

"It's fine." Levi said. "I don't even have stitches, Erwin. Just a couple of band aids."

When the young man turned to walk to the bathroom, Erwin lifted his eyes to trace the slender ankles and calves, somewhat lamenting that the design of hospital gowns had been improved to tie in the front. As Levi started fearlessly digging through the cabinets, though, the gown was pulled and stretched to show his arms and the back of his neck as he reached up. The older man had to stifle a laugh as he watched Levi stand on his tiptoes to reach what he needed. Finding what he was after, Levi pulled down two towels and a fresh gown.

"Still..." Erwin tried one more time. "You did just have surgery..."

Levi paused at the door to the bathroom, looking back at Erwin with the most threatening expression he'd ever seen before.

"Not even surgery would dare stand between me and personal hygiene."

 Without another word Levi locked himself in the bathroom and the water began to run.

Erwin smiled helplessly. Levi had always had a minor compulsion about cleanliness. Nothing near OCD, but still strong. Over their many years talking through psychology they had determined that his need to clean had come from his home environment. Levi had never quite lived in squalor, but his house had definitely not been pristine. His ability to clean his own room and his own body was his only way of taking control of something in his life and, in a way, purging the deeds of his mother. At least, that was one fancy theory they had talked out. It made sense to the both of them, but the discussion had been left open-ended, like many of them. 

Apparently what the younger man had said was true; nothing would stop him from being as clean as possible. It was amazing to Erwin that Levi had actually had surgery the day before and was able to bounce back so quickly. To think that all of Levi's suffering could be so quickly dealt with...it made him very happy. The bill, of course, was extensive, but Erwin could care less. He had a great deal of money saved from his inheritance, and these out-of-pocket medical costs still wouldn't put a dent in it. Even if it had, it was for Levi, and Erwin knew he would have found a way.

It was a good fifteen minutes before the water was shut off. Several more moments later Levi emerged from the bathroom amid billowing clouds of steam, wrapped in his new gown and rubbing his head with a towel.

"Oh my god, did you make your own personal sauna in there?" Erwin asked, watching the moisture wafting up toward the lights. "I don't want to hand my pupils back moldy papers."

"Bathing with anything less than _hot_ water defies the purpose altogether." Levi stated evenly, coming to plop down into the free chair across the table from Erwin. "When are they going to feed me? I'm starving here; I feel like I haven't eaten in months."

"Well...you...haven't, have you?" Erwin asked gently, his blue eyes softening a little. Levi draped the towel around his neck and nodded.

"Yeah, guess you're right."

Levi looked at Erwin, his eyes set in their usual neutral sharpness, and they held Erwin's gaze easily.

"So...you said we'd talk."

The blond felt his chest tighten instantly, and his breath catch in his windpipe. He unconsciously glanced toward the closed door, as though worried they might be overheard, before replying,

"Now?"

"Why not?"

Erwin shifted, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. He took a long steadying breath, closing his eyes to work up his nerve. He felt ridiculous, he was the older one here after all. He managed to control himself so that his voice was even when it came out.

"Should I go first or would you like to?"

It was hard to tell if Levi was blushing, as his pale skin was pink all over from the heat of his shower, but he did look slightly sheepish with a little twist of his lips.

"I'll go first if it means I can ask you a question." When Erwin nodded Levi spoke immediately. "Did you kiss me back just because you felt sorry for me?"

Blue eyes widened and large hands clenched on the table. Without even waiting for his first question to be answered, Levi launched ahead with more inquiries,

"Was it pity? You felt sorry for me so you led me on? Or could it be that you paid for all of this just because you thought you'd get a piece of student ass in return?"

Erwin felt his heart instantly drop into his shoes at the string of questions, and the bite of steel behind them. He was so shocked that those words had actually come out of Levi's mouth that he could only sit there with his jaw on the floor for a few seconds, before he could swallow and attempt to answer. He had not expected their talk to start off with such accusation.

"Levi...I don't think you've ever insulted me so deeply!" The vehemence in Erwin's quiet words made Levi's eyes widen minutely with surprise this time. The steamy air in the room instantly became thicker as the two sat across from each other. How the atmosphere had become so hostile so suddenly was incredible, but spoke to the true fragility of their relationship. Refusing to break eye contact, Levi finally spoke.

"You're telling me I'm wrong? You can't blame me for thinking of it. Of course I'd want to believe that it was out of true affection that you'd be willing to do so much for me, but...you know I'm not one to buy into such romantic ideals so easily."

The blonde's head shook firmly from side to side, his jaw tight with displeasure. It was difficult for him to balance his anger with his sincerity. He had imagined this conversation countless times before, but now that it was actually happening he felt his nerves tightening to breaking point.

"I...I never wanted to give you the impression that I did _any_ of this out of pity." He said slowly, being sure to keep his gaze focused on Levi's face. "Of course I'd feel sorry for your situation, but I have had many students for whom I've felt sorry and I've never taken a personal interest in any of them the way I have in you. The very idea that I'd expect any kind of... _favors_ from you...in return...it sickens me, Levi."

A defensive expression rose on Levi's face and he leaned forward, his body language offering up a fight.

"Then why did you do it? Why befriend me so closely at all, much less go this far to help me without some ulterior motive?! I've come to know you well over the years, Erwin, and even with your hero complex this is a bit too much, and why me? If you didn't do it for sex or some other repayment, then why? What the hell do you want from me?!"

Levi was breathing slightly quicker now, his rambling having spiraled down into unsteady, shaking words and Erwin was again startled with how much emotion he was putting forth.

"Calm down, Levi, your heart..." He said, and Levi opened his mouth in a semblance of a snarl before shutting it and looking away. "You want answer, right? Well, just listen, it's my turn now anyway."

The raven-haired man maintained his glare at the wall, but stayed silent, observing Erwin's command. He waiting a moment before he spoke, needing them both to calm down a little first. Erwin began slowly, cautiously,

"I have to admit that after the first couple years I wasn't sure where our...friendship, was going. I struggled with whether or not it was even proper to meet as much as we did. But I enjoyed your company so much, I enjoyed _you_ so much. I would never lie to you, Levi; it was only early this year that I truly knew you meant more to me than a student should mean to a professor. I do...care a great deal for you. But you have to believe me...I never wished to extort anything of that nature from you. I...I don't want anything but to be with you, Levi."

As Erwin spoke Levi's brows lifted ever so slightly off his forehead, softening his expression. By the time his professor fell silent, he was looking confused, which was better than downright upset. He turned his face toward Erwin, not exactly looking at him, but not facing away any more either.

"So...you didn't pay for my surgery because you wanted sex."

"No, Levi, please stop saying that!"

"But..you do want me that way, don't you?"

Presented with the question so bluntly, in typical Levi fashion, Erwin withered beneath it and his hesitation showed clearly on his face. He was certain that Levi would turn on him again at once but instead he looked more surprised, like he couldn't actually believe he had been right.

"Levi I...I would be a liar if I told you that I did not find you attractive. I would also be lying to say that I haven't...considered you in that way. But it was never my intention to pursue you, I never thought that you would want that, and then you...kissed me."

Levi did blush now, the tinge of his clean skin turning scarlet up to his ears. It seemed Erwin had caught him with his own actions, and he had looked nervously away before he could stop himself. This lifted a bit of the gloom lingering on Erwin, and he actually grinned a little.

"You couldn't expect me to leave that out of the conversation, could you?"

"Of course not, idiot!"

That remark just made Erwin grin wider, and he leaned back in his chair.

"Well, to be fair, you were the one who moved first."

"I..." Levi swallowed at the break in his voice. "I was pretty distraught, you know? I hadn't slept in so long and my restraint was pretty much gone. I meant what I said, though; I didn't want to go into surgery without telling you."

"So why are you so upset with me when you instigated this?"

Levi shook his head, as though unable to answer that himself. He squirmed in his seat before settling back down.

"I've told you before that I don't understand affection. It confuses me. I could only think of other motivations that would fit the situation. Why would you do all this just out of affection?"

"Because I care for you very deeply. That's it, no more, no less."

There was no reply from the young man, who absentmindedly began rubbing the side of his damp head with the towel again. When it became clear that Levi wasn't going to speak again, Erwin did instead,

"I think it's your turn again, Levi. Could you tell me your own feelings now?"

Turning his head even further away from Erwin, Levi swallowed.

"I...I kissed you didn't I?"

The tremulous tone melted Erwin's heart, and he smiled widely, feeling slightly wicked.

"But why? Your little scenario goes both ways, you know, Levi. Are you just after sex too?"

That got the young man's attention, and he finally looked Erwin in the eye.

"No!"

"Then why?"

"Because...I guess that...I care about you too..."

The last words were so quiet and Levi's cheeks were so red that Erwin wanted to laugh aloud. Instead he rose from his chair and walked around to Levi's side of the table. When he knelt down beside him he was glad to see that there was no resistance. He placed his hands over Levi's own, feeling how warm they were from the shower.

"Are you saying that you'd have no objections to being with me, Levi?"

Levi bit his lip, an adorable action that drove away any fear Erwin might have felt since they started speaking. The younger man flexed his hands beneath his professor's, as if not sure what to do with them while they were being held. Another second and he finally answered,

"Well, I am the only one who can put up with you, after all..." Erwin chuckled at the very Levi-ness of the sentence, before he was surprised by more. "And I probably care for you more than anyone else ever could."

That lip was bitten once more out of embarrassment, as sharp cheekbones flushed red and dark grey eyes looked nervously off to the side. Erwin thought his own heart was going to need surgery, as it was bursting within him. There were so many things he could say at this moment, so much more affection he could pour out on Levi, but he didn't want to drown him, or break that perfect moment of Levi's admission.

"That makes me very happy, Levi." He said after a moment of smiling. "I know that wasn't easy for you--."

He was cut off when Levi pulled his hands from Erwin's and seized his face. Blue eyes went wide with surprise as grey ones narrowed.

"I'm done talking." Levi blurted, before smashing his lips against Erwin's. Those warm fingers latched into Erwin's golden hair, keeping him in place. Erwin didn't hold back this time, immediately wrapping his own arms around Levi's waist and pulling him forward on the chair. The lithe body felt good in his arms, and he let his large hands smooth over those shoulders and that small waist as he kissed Levi back, taking control after a brief battle with Levi's tongue. Their breaths were hot, puffing from their nostrils with the intensity of their kiss. Levi's hands seemed determined to clutch as much of Erwin's hair as he could, fingers threading through the combed locks frantically as Erwin mined the depths of his mouth. The older man's fingers also found Levi's hair, lacing through the damp raven locks and loving the clean scent of soap and shampoo that hung about him. Large hands pulled the towel from around Levi's neck, cupping the slender column of flesh between his hands, his thumbs rubbing the underside of his pointed chin.

They tore apart after several heated minutes, panting and clinging to each other. The sight of each other, eyes heavy-lidded and mouths parted, only sent sparks of desire through them both.

"Erwin..." Levi murmured against those full lips, sipping at them in the break. Erwin responded gently, brushing his lips rather than kissing at them. Levi wasn't standing for this slow pace, and he pulled him back in by his collar, biting his bottom lip and forcing his mouth open again. As their tongues wound together and wrestled, Erwin felt his groin stirring eagerly. A small sound of pain squeaked out between the light sounds of pleasure coming from Levi's mouth, and it brought Erwin back to himself. He forced his hands up to Levi's shoulders, pushing him back.

"We should stop, Levi." He panted. "Your heart..."

Levi's face was utterly disappointed, the emotions more open and raw than Erwin had ever seen.

"Damn it...." Levi gasped, one hand raising to press gently against his chest. Erwin covered that hand with his own, and leaned their foreheads together. When that position tempted him too much, Erwin pulled back, standing on wobbly legs before pulling his chair around beside Levi's and taking his hand.

"Remember, they told you no physical activity for six weeks."

"Cock-blocked by my own heart?" Levi asked with a chuckle, looking up at Erwin with a warm smile. "That's ironic, don't you think?"

"Perhaps," Erwin said, rubbing the back of Levi's hand with his thumb, "but once it's healed completely you will be fit as a fiddle."

"Don't tell me, you have plans to test my new-found soundness of heart?" Levi teased, lifting Erwin's hand and tracing his fingers with the tip of his own. Erwin shivered, wishing he could throw Levi back onto the table and tear open that thin hospital gown...

"Maybe, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait more than six weeks for that."

"What do you mean?" Levi asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. Erwin thought that he might object to that, so he braced himself for the storm as he spoke,

"You're still my student, Levi, for another two months."

Levi's face, which had been lit with a rare smile and happiness, fell into disbelief. He lowered Erwin's hand to his thigh, frowning.

"You're joking, right?"

"I'm afraid not. Levi, I care for you so much, but you need to graduate before we can be together without repercussions."

The younger man looked like he was struggling with whether or not to be angry or argue, before resignation smoothed across his face.

"It's only two extra weeks after the initial six. You understand, don't you, Levi?" Erwin asked, feeling bad about the situation but unable to change it.

"Yeah, of course I do." Levi sighed. "I'm not stupid, I know we can't risk it right now. It's going to be two months of hell, though."

"You'll rethink that once you're sleeping soundly every night and eating well again." Erwin told him, reaching up to stroke the side of Levi's face. The younger man leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"Why do you always have to counter my complaints with truth?" He asked, brushing his lips against the inside of Erwin's palm. Erwin smiled softly and once more leaned in to tease his pupil with a light kiss to his temple.

"It's the teacher in me, I suppose."  

 

))(((

))(((

It was early evening, the sun just beginning to sink below the horizon behind thick clouds, when a knock echoed off the door of a ranch-style apartment. There was a call to wait from within, and then the door was opened by a dark-haired young man who was drying his hands on a kitchen towel. On the doorstep was a much taller man, blond hair very bright in the light of the late sun. He was wrapped in full winter garb; coat, scarf, and gloves to withstand the thick snow that drifted down upon him. His misty breath mingled with the other man's as he spoke,

"I brought congratulation wine." Erwin said, holding up a bottle with an intricate label. Dark grey eyes stared at it, unimpressed.

"You're about two days late for that, aren't you?" Levi asked, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. "Graduation was on Friday."

Erwin smiled and reached out to brush a long lock of black hair away from Levi's eyes. The younger man was wearing soft black pants, and a dark green long sleeve Tee. Erwin noted the bright blue slippers with a grin. He could smell dish soap on him, almost overpowering his own spicy scent that Erwin had come to crave.

"But this is your first week in your new place. Now don't you think that's worth a good bottle of wine? There's no reason we can't celebrate both at once."

Levi stared at him for a moment, almost as though considering shutting the door in Erwin's face, but the next second he stepped back, gesturing Erwin inside.

"You'll let all the heat out, come on in. There's also no reason you can't help me unpack a few things."

Cardboard boxes lined the dark beige walls and stood in the middle of the main room. Between the flatscreen, sofa, coffee table, a deep-looking recliner, and a small end table with a lamp, and all the boxes, there was very little space to walk. Erwin toed off his shoes, seeing that Levi's own were placed on a mat beside the door. He had wanted to come here the very first night that Levi moved in, but it had still been before graduation, and he would not break his own boundaries.

'Two months of hell', as Levi had put it all those weeks ago in the hospital, had been a bit of an understatement. Every second that the two had been together crackled with sexual tension, the small gestures and looks unable to go any further. Despite his own rule, as well as the surgeon's, Erwin had allowed a few more passionate moments, kissing and groping simply unavoidable. Unwisely they had stolen a few of these wonderful but frustrating moments after class and in Erwin's office. Levi had proven to be a much more rebellious young man than Erwin could have imagined. Apparently when he really wanted something he would try his best to get it. While he did truly understand the need to wait, it didn't keep him from trying to change Erwin's mind. If they were going to be tortured while apart, Levi decided it would be no harm to torture Erwin a bit more with wicked suggestions and teasing behavior.

Erwin had heard more vile, arousing things out of that lovely mouth over the past two months than he had in all the time he had known Levi before. The second time that they had given in to temptation, Erwin leaning back on his office desk and holding Levi against him while they kissed, the young man had whispered to him,

"God, I want to see you out of these damn teacher clothes...you feel so hard...your muscles must be insane...I'll bet you could hold me right up against a wall to do me, couldn't you?"

"Oh Levi..." Erwin had groaned in response, his brain fogged by his desire.

"It'll be no problem for you to toss me around, but you won't...because you're gentle with me...you care too much..."

"Yes, I do..."

"You'll stroke me all over with those big, strong hands, won't you?"

"Yes..." 

"Hmmm...you're so easy to rile up, I can't wait until I have you in bed if this is what my voice does to you."

Levi had made a grab for Erwin's crotch when he said that, and Erwin had come back to himself enough to deflect the movement, pushing Levi away from him bodily.

"We can't, Levi...you know that."

All of their encounters had ended like that, but Erwin had had a chance to get his revenge on Levi for that first time, finding many sensual things to whisper into the younger man's ear as well. He found that as bold as Levi tried to act, he really was inexperienced and could melt beneath just the right touch or words. One particular time that Erwin had revisited in his mind countless times while alone in his bed at home, was when they were once again in his office. It was dangerous to meet there, but it was private enough and Levi had enough of an excuse as his pupil to go there that it was the most convenient. Levi had been sitting on the edge of Erwin's desk, the older man sitting in his office chair as they devoured each other's mouths. He had come to know the feel of that slender body by now regardless of their efforts to keep apart. He had been rubbing at Levi's sides and when he latched his lips onto the side of the pale neck, he felt Levi's body literally shiver. An honest, wanton moan had escaped Levi and encouraged Erwin to nibble on his neck and up to his ear.

"You like that?" Erwin had whispered, biting gently into Levi's lobe. "If you shudder like that when my mouth is up here, I can only imagine what a mess you'll be when I finally put it down there...."

Erwin had been rewarded with the sight of Levi biting his lip, an action that only occurred when he was very turned on.

"Erwin...I...."

"Don't tell me you've never felt that before?"

"..."

"Oh my god when I finally have you I'm going to suck your cock until you scream..."

The whimper that had left Levi after Erwin said that was more than enough to make them even.

Now, though...they were free. Levi had walked at his college graduation and received his diploma just two days ago and was slotted to begin his new job as an engineer a week from tomorrow. Seven days. Seven days to settle in to an entirely new life, and Erwin was most assuredly going to be a part of it. They had not agreed upon what night Erwin would be coming over, as Levi had been busy moving in and Erwin didn't want to smother him. Now, however, he found that he couldn't have waited one more second apart from the young man who meant so much to him.

"Eren help you with the move?" Erwin asked, having stayed away during the transition. It had nearly killed him not to be able to help, but it would have been inappropriate for a teacher to help a student move.

"Yeah. That kid's stronger than he looks, I'll tell you." Levi said, casually helping Erwin out of his coat and then leading him through the maze of boxes to the kitchen. "He hauled the entire kitchenette set in here on his own."

"You don't say?"

"The idiot wouldn't listen to me," Levi grumbled, as he draped Erwin's coat over a hook beside the glass doors that looked out onto the yard, "I must have told him a dozen times that my heart is perfectly healed and I am capable of doing my fair share. Still, he took on the bulk of the work and I couldn't stop him."

Levi turned back to Erwin, taking his scarf and gloves as well. While he was hanging those up too, Erwin took a second to admire the care that had obviously been taken with the kitchen. The granite countertops gleamed and were lined neatly with all manner of cooking items. He noted the coffee maker and mug tree first, which were placed prominently at the most accessible end of the counter. There was also a teapot on the stove and a wooden box beside it that looked to be filled with all variety of loose tea. The sink was filled with sudsy water on one side, and clean dishes sat drying on a rack. Levi must have been washing them when Erwin came to the door. A warm, delicious scent filled the entire place, emanating from the oven.

"Are you making something?" Erwin asked, placing the bottle of wine onto the counter.

"Margherita pizzas. I always make two since they're great as leftovers. Lucky you, huh?"

Erwin smiled down at Levi, who lifted up on his tiptoes to give Erwin a short peck on his lips before turning around and heading right back to the sink.

"I need to finish these dishes, if you don't mind."

The taller man stepped up behind Levi as he sunk his hands back into the hot water, and dropped a kiss to the top of his raven head.

"I'll dry them if you like." He offered. "I owe you for not helping you move in, after all."

"Fine, but after that you're going to help me unpack a few of those boxes cluttering up my new living room. The food won't be ready for another twenty minutes at least. Hope that wine of yours goes well with pizza."

Erwin laughed as he plucked the dishtowel from Levi's shoulder.

"It's still Italian, isn't it? Pizza, pasta, it all goes well with wine." Levi turned his head to look at Erwin as he started to dry. A smile pulled at his lips, and he nodded.

"I suppose you're right."

The next twenty minutes were oddly the most relaxed that the pair had spent together since Levi's surgery. It was as if now that they knew nothing was standing in their way, they could take their time. No immediate groping and kissing, no frantic rush to Levi's barely-furnished bedroom. Instead they talked, laughed, and unpacked boxes together with no air of impatience between them. The entire apartment still had an unfinished feel to it, with its blank walls and nearly-empty-but-for-boxes rooms, but it was still fairly cozy. They were able to empty the contents of three boxes into their proper place before the stove timer was calling them back to the kitchen. Levi slipped on a pair of oven mitts and pulled the pizzas out, placing them on the cooling racks on the counter.

"Lovely." Erwin commented, watching the bubbling cheese, the darkened edges of the tomato slices, and the three dark leaves placed decoratively in the center of each.

"I take pride in what I cook." Levi said, lifting his chin slightly into the air. "Even if it is just pizza."

"'Just pizza'?'" Erwin asked, sidling up beside Levi and placing an adoring hand in the center of Levi's back. "It's a work of art."

Levi pulled off one of the oven mitts and opened a drawer.

"You're just overly sentimental." He said with a snort, taking out a pizza-cutter.

"Maybe," Erwin chuckled against Levi's ear, "where would you be if I wasn't?"

"Losing my mind from chronic insomnia," Levi offered bluntly, "wasting away from lack of appetite, beating Eren within an inch of his life from uncontrollable anger-."

Erwin cut him off by turning his face and kissing the corner of his mouth.

"I was being rhetorical, baby."

Levi growled a bit at Erwin's endearment, having protested any pet names from the beginning but secretly, Erwin knew he loved it.

"That's the reality." Levi rebuffed, kissing Erwin back softly. "You can be the sap, I'll be the realist, alright?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Erwin chuckled, releasing Levi to let him slice the pizzas.

"Make use of that ridiculous height of yours," Levi told him, "and get the dishes out of the cabinet, will you?"

Another ten minutes found them sitting together on the sofa, socked feet propped on the coffee table and plates of pizza in their laps, surrounded by towers of cardboard boxes. Levi didn't have any wine glasses, so they were drinking out of little plastic juice cups instead.

"How romantic, hmm?" Erwin asked, while pouring a bit more wine into Levi's proffered plastic cup.

"You could say the same for him." Levi said, nodding at the flatscreen where Russell Crow was decapitating someone on the battlefield. Erwin joined him in a laugh, nudging in a bit closer to his side. They watched in comfortable silence until Levi went back for seconds. Erwin commented on how much better he looked since he had been eating well. Erwin took another few slices as well, adoring Levi's cooking. When they put their empty plates into the sink and sat back down, Erwin slid an arm around Levi and pulled him closer to his side. They were both still nursing their wine, but eventually they placed that aside as well in favor of cuddling closer.

"Is this the part where we forget about the movie and make out like teenagers?" Levi mumbled into Erwin's thick sweater after a few long moments.

"Most definitely." Erwin answered, hooking Levi's chin in his big hand and tilting his face up.

They smiled gently at one another before their lips met and their eyes closed. The sounds of battle and a heart-pounding soundtrack quieted as Levi fumbled with the volume on the remote, before dropping it and wrapping his hands around Erwin's neck. They took time to learn every minute curve and swell of each other's lips, moving their mouths together over and over for long moments before their tongues even joined in. When the kissing became a bit heated, Erwin pulled back and stroked Levi's cheek.

"Hold on a second," He said with a huge smile, "come here for a bit."

Erwin stood from the sofa, keeping hold of Levi's hand and drawing him up to stand on his feet. He turned the flatscreen off, and Levi was looking suspiciously at the taller man, wondering what he had planned. He did not expect him to pluck his phone out of his pocket and tap at the screen for a while.

"What are you-."

"Bear with me."

A few seconds later, and a slow, sultry musical number began to play. The phone was small, but had magnificent speakers, and when Erwin placed it down on the coffee table, Levi began to shake his head.

"Oh no, please tell me you don't want to-."

"Humor me, will you, babe?"

Levi frowned doubly hard at that.

"That one's ever worse than-."

"You'll get nowhere trying to argue with me tonight, Levi." Erwin said, kissing his lips and taking up both of his hands. "Come on, just a little."

Glaring like Erwin had just threatened his life, Levi let Erwin pull him in close. One long arm wound around Levi's slim waist, the other lifted Levi's hand in Erwin's out to the side. Quite literally trapped, Levi placed his free hand on Erwin's shoulder and said with an exasperated huff.

"Erwin, I _don't_ dance."

Smooth lips fluttered over the smaller man's ear, and down his jaw to mumble gently,

"It's not about dancing, Levi. It's just about being close. Please...for me?"

He didn't respond, but Erwin felt the smaller body moving with him when he began to step to the side. The music was an almost sickeningly slow, jazzy version of 'Winter Wonderland', piano and light cymbal supporting the saxophone that carried the tune. Secretly for the first few moments, Levi likened it to shopping mall music during the holidays, as he had been hearing much of it lately. But it did not take long for the warmth of Erwin's closeness to make the quality of the music change in his mind. It became romantic, sensual...happy. Levi wondered where in the world Erwin had found it, and whether he had taken time to select this particular song for him, on this particular snowy evening in December. Even the idea made Levi feel just a little bit happy, not that he'd ever tell Erwin that...or need to; he probably knew.

They stepped and swayed slowly in the small space they had within the city of boxes, the only light the glow from the small lamp in the corner, which cast a faint golden tinge over the room and it's dark beige walls. After the first moment or two Levi allowed himself to relax entirely, not just tolerating Erwin's romanticism, but enjoying it. His glare was eventually melted by the warmth of Erwin's sunny smile, his eyes softening as they gazed deeply into the taller man's. Not five minutes in and Levi had wound both of his arms up and around Erwin's neck, while Erwin's were down around his waist. Erwin made a few funny little 'sexy' faces at him that forced Levi to smile back, rolling his eyes and declaring Erwin an idiot, as always. Little chuckling fits passed between them now and again, before they fell into a smooth, comfortable rhythm with each other. Rocking hypnotically back and forth in each other's loose hold like that seemed to stop time around them. Levi found the longer he looked into those deep wells of blue, the more he oddly felt like crying with delight. The wealth of affection and kindness was nearly too much for him to take; he had never looked at Erwin like that for so long before. When he stared, there was so much reflected in those eyes; the fact that this man had saved his life, had supported him and cared for him through more than anyone else in Levi's life...the affection there was so powerful that it made Levi's healthy heart leap.

Levi gave a small little gasp and pressed forward as they continued to move, burying his face into the strong shoulder, letting Erwin rock him slowly. He closed his eyes, just feeling Erwin holding him so close. His huge arms around Levi's body...his warm cheek on the top of his head...his solid chest holding him up as he leaned into its strength. It was so warm, intimate, and wonderful, that Levi thought his heart might break. He had never had the chance to feel like this with anyone before; like he was cherished, adored...loved. The older man had been right in what he said; this was about so much more than dancing.

"Do you realize how well we fit together?" Erwin whispered into Levi's hair a handful of moments later. When Levi didn't answer with more than a hum, he continued, "It's like you were made for me..."

Erwin braced himself cheerfully for a few biting words about how disgustingly sappy he sounded, but instead Levi stayed silent. For some reason, this touched Erwin deeply. Even Levi couldn't deny the fact that they seemed to be a perfectly matched pair.

"Yeah..." Levi surprised him by breathing the word a few seconds late. Erwin smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Levi's dark head. He loved the feel of the younger man against him, feeling the weight of his body leaning into him, trusting him, clinging to him. He had to wonder what he had done to deserve the affection of a man who used to blatantly claim he would never love anyone. Erwin didn't take long to ponder his luck, instead focusing on the feel of Levi against him.

They were barely stepping anymore, simply swaying in place. The music track faded out a few moments later, and they continued to move gently together, caught up in the spell...until a loud pop song began playing. Erwin scrambled away from Levi to shut the music off, but not before Levi had heard what the song was. When Erwin turned back to him, it was to find a brilliant smile on his usually stoic face, both thin eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"Lady Gaga?" Levi demanded, the humor in his tone undeniable. Erwin looked distinctly guilty, and slipped the phone onto the coffee table, screen now switched off.

"Sometimes I need something mindless to play in the background when I work out." He offered. Levi looked unconvinced, placing a hand on his hip.

"Tell me that you didn't pay actual money for that song."

Erwin rolled his eyes and dropped back onto the sofa, waving Levi over to him.

"Forget about it, just come here."

Levi stalked determinedly over to the older man, and with a small huff of effort, swung one leg over Erwin's lap and dropped down, straddling him. His hands bunched up in the front of Erwin's sweater, pulling him closer. 

"Not trying to distract me from your questionable musical tastes, are you?"

With a deep, sensual hum, Erwin nipped at the edge of Levi's chin with his teeth, sliding his hands up Levi's lean thighs.

"Why would you think that? I just want to kiss you again."

"Way to get out of it, old man."

Their mouths began crashing together desperately this time, little moans and grunts fluttering between them. The slow, tender pace of the evening was being quickly left behind the longer they locked lips. Levi shoved his fingers into Erwin's combed hair as he dove back in to continue kissing him. It was easier now, Levi's new position putting them on eye level. Levi loved Erwin's mouth, the full lips felt amazing against his own, so strong and demanding but gentle as well. They both tasted wine in the other's mouth, and it was exciting and tantalizing. Erwin's hands automatically latched on to Levi's waist, loving the easy access in this position. Finally he allowed his hands to slide down further and cup the firm curves beneath the soft black pants.

"Damn..." Erwin muttered against Levi's lips, squeezing and rubbing at the flesh. Levi's eyes fluttered closed as those big hands fondled his backside. He grinned a bit when he opened them again and stared at Erwin.

"You like my ass?" He teased, moving his hips slowly up and down within Erwin's firm grip.

"You've no idea." Erwin responded, leaning up and taking Levi's lips again. Levi sunk into the kiss, his hands smoothing over Erwin's chest. Those nimble hands slid down to Erwin's waist, tugging at the hem of his sweater. Erwin was reluctant to move his hands from where they were, but for Levi's sake he did, assisting him in pulling the sweater up and over his head.

Levi shivered when he saw the white tank that Erwin wore underneath, and the firm swells of his pectorals stretching the thin fabric. He had fantasized about this so many times, knowing from the feel of him through his clothes that Erwin had to be well-formed. It was hard for him to hide his muscles in his collared shirts and suits; his arms were too thick to be ignored even in such modest garb. Levi felt his mouth watering, and he couldn't stop at just the sweater. He ripped the hem of the wife-beater up to Erwin's collarbone, and left it there as he finally took in the sight of Erwin's naked chest.

"Shit, Erwin, are you a god?" Levi gasped, finally running his hands over incredibly firm abdominal muscles, tracing the faint but noticeable six pack. "How the hell do you find time to work out, you office slouch?!"

Erwin laughed, and Levi's eyes widened to see his muscles rippling with the vibration.

"Only you could knock me from god down to office slouch in two breaths."  He clapped one hand over Levi's ass cheek. Levi yelped slightly in surprise, and then grinned wickedly, liking it.

"It's just not fair." Levi countered, pressing his hands flat on Erwin's pecs and sliding his palms over the tight flesh. It felt incredible, like something out of his own head. He hadn't thought that men like this existed, or at least, never dreamed he'd end up with one and certainly he hadn't thought to find it in a teacher. Erwin seemed to see the disbelief in Levi's wide eyes, and leaned forward, blocking Levi's view as he kissed him. When he pulled back he whispered against Levi's neck,

"If it makes you feel any better, I was a pretty chubby kid in high school."

Levi gasped as Erwin began to suckle at his neck, one of the few weak spots he'd had the opportunity to find.

"Chubby is at least big..." Levi moaned. "Try being called "the emo beanpole" all through school..."

"Emo?" Erwin asked, biting very softly at the juncture of Levi's jaw.  "Where would they get that idea? Just because you have black hair?"

Levi squirmed a bit on Erwin's lap and tugged on his blond hair sharply for the question.

"Well, I...I sort of...wore eyeliner too..."

Erwin stopped what he was doing and pulled back, gazing up at Levi incredulously.

"What?" Levi snapped, frowning. Erwin laughed, reaching up to caress the side of Levi's face, brushing a thumb beneath one of his deep-set grey eyes.

"Hmmm...eyeliner..."

Levi slapped his hand away and seized the thin straps of Erwin's tank, pulling him forward threateningly.

"Don't get any ideas, old man!"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"It was a stupid, disgusting trend that I was trying to follow, nothing more!"

"Of course."

"I'll never put that stuff on again!"

"If you say so."

Levi glared at him.

"Stop smiling you idiot!"

Erwin ignored him, laughing deeply and hugging Levi in close.

"Oh Levi, you're just too adorable when you're angry." An inhuman-sounding grumble left the mouth pressed into Erwin's shoulder, and he smiled even wider. "Don't you dare deny it."

Levi moved his head slightly and began to suck at Erwin's neck in retaliation, and Erwin sighed happily, stroking up and down the familiar lines of Levi's back. Many times in the past two months had he adored that back, but now he wanted more than just the feel of it through Levi's clothes. He let his hands slip beneath the Tee, and he grew instantly harder at the feel of silky-soft skin beneath his palms. Levi gasped into his mouth at the feel of Erwin's hands, gripping his hair tighter. Erwin pulled the shirt up, forcing Levi to abandon his neck as he tore it away. Erwin then held Levi by the waist, keeping him in place so he could admire him fully. From a purely male perspective, Erwin could understand why Levi might be envious as he was all slender muscles and lithe frame, but...hell...he was gorgeous; milky white skin and pink nipples, with only the faintest scattering of thin black hair down the center of his body. His collarbones were beautiful to Erwin, as they stood out a little prominently at the base of his throat and looked so much more delicate paired with his white shoulders.

Levi apparently became either impatient or embarrassed, and tried to lean back in to kiss him to hide his blushing cheeks. Erwin pushed him back.

"Just let me look at you, Levi...god you're so beautiful."

He could literally see the flush that turned Levi's entire face and neck pink. He turned his head to the side, adorably flustered and said,

"Men aren't beautiful."

Erwin brushed his thumbs on either side of Levi's navel, and growled,

"Levi?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and let me love you."

Something shimmered in Levi's eyes as Erwin said that, his expression softening so much that he almost looked like he was about to cry. Erwin merely smiled, and pulled Levi forward to press his mouth to the center of Levi's chest. The smooth skin trembled against his lips as he suckled gently, tasting the slight tang from his body soap. He inhaled deeply, loving the scent.

"Sandalwood?" He asked, his voice muffled against Levi's chest.

"Yeah..." Levi breathed, arms wrapping around Erwin's head. "Good guess."

A hot, wet tongue darted out to swirl around Levi's nipple, making him gasp when those lips  closed around it and began to suck. Erwin felt Levi's spine bow as his body curled over his head.

"Ugn...Erwin..."

He wasn't answering, just suckling on Levi's nipple happily, loving the feel of it between his teeth. Levi's reaction prompted him to keep going, nibbling his way across his chest to his other nipple, and Levi's arms tightened around his head. Apparently this one was more sensitive.

"Ah...ah...uuugn."

Erwin hummed against him, loving the shiver that went through Levi at the vibration of the sound. He ran his hands up Levi's back as his mouth worked, feeling the smooth skin and the warm flesh, rubbing at the shoulder blades and kneading at his waist. Erwin felt a stab of empathy as his lips ghosted over the faint scar on the left side of Levi's chest, the only physical reminder of what the young man had been through. Levi rocked in his arms, gasping and moaning quietly at the attention, running his own hands through Erwin's thick blond hair and over his broad shoulders. After several moments Levi reached down and began pulling Erwin's tank again, making Erwin break his adoration of his nipples as he pulled it up his arms.

"My turn." Levi grunted, sliding deftly from Erwin's lap. He tugged, pulled, and pushed until Erwin was reclining with his head on the arm of the sofa. Levi straddled him again, hands spread on Erwin's torso. "You're so damned hot...with your...fucking _muscles_..."

Levi spotted the enormous laugh rising in Erwin's throat, and he cut it off with a deep kiss. Those lips were swollen from suckling his skin, and felt so good and plump against his own, which were equally swollen. Erwin's hands rose to cup Levi's slender sides again, his fingertips nearly touching around the smallest part of his waist. Levi groaned against his mouth, loving how big Erwin's hands were. Not wanting to be distracted from his original mission, Levi drew back and began to run his hands greedily all over Erwin's sculpted arms and chest. When his fingers reached Erwin's stomach his mouth descended to coat every inch of Erwin's magnificence with adoring kisses and flicks of his tongue.

"Oh, Levi..." Erwin sighed, rubbing that tight little backside once more. Levi felt Erwin's arousal digging into his own groin, and he grew harder as well just at the thought of it. He was going to finally see that cock tonight, after feeling it through Erwin's pants time after time when they kissed and hugged. Levi couldn't wait, but slid his hand down to cup the outline in the seat of Erwin's pants. Erwin groaned at his light touch, and Levi tightened his fingers, rubbing slowly.

"You're so hard..." Levi breathed, his free hand working at the button on Erwin's waistband. Erwin reached down to help him, and Levi let him unzip them before he shooed his hands away. "I've been waiting a long time for this..."

"Not very patiently, I might add."

Levi tugged a bit roughly at Erwin's boxers, moving them down just enough to expose his hard manhood. It sprung from its fabric prison with ease, standing tall and proud out of its nest of clothes. It was large, flushing darkly, and a little wet at the tip. His crown was beautifully formed, the underside of the cap folding in perfect lines up to his weeping slit. Levi licked his lips, letting out a loud breath. His slender fingers easily wrapped around the length of lovely flesh, and Erwin hummed in appreciation.

"Your fingers are cold, but they feel amazing."

"I'm hardly touching you." Levi's tone didn't match his words, being far-away and a little dreamy.

"They still feel amazing..."

Those fingers tightened and began to stroke lightly, Levi's other hand supporting his weight on Erwin's strong chest. His own hardness pulsed with need as his hand made the familiar motion, as though his brain knew that action was normally performed on his own flesh and was trying to comprehend why it wasn't feeling it. Erwin's eyebrows were drawing down on his forehead, his expression pricelessly aroused as he watched Levi work him over. The younger man's eyes were completely focused on that cock, his jaw lowering slowly until it was nearly hanging open with admiration.

"I um...think you're right..." Levi mumbled.

"Right about what?" It was all Erwin could do to ask while his erection was being stroked by tentative, slender fingers that knew their task well.

"I guess men _can_ be beautiful after all...because... your cock really is beautiful. I never thought I'd ever say that about a cock."

Erwin gave Levi's ass an especially playful squeeze in response, not trusting his voice to remain steady and his brain not really supplying him with words at the moment. Levi's thumb played with the head of Erwin's member, swirling around and making the smooth flesh slick with his wetness. Erwin's hips jerked, nearly sending Levi flying right off of him.

"To hell with this." Levi grunted, swinging his leg down and onto the ground to stand up. He hooked a finger in Erwin's belt loop and tugged hard. "Come on, you need room to spread your legs so you won't throw me off."

Erwin followed Levi like an oversized puppy as he was lead through the maze of boxes in the hallway and to Levi's bedroom. The queen bed was much more spacious than the little sofa, but before they reached it Levi was jerking Erwin's pants and boxers down his legs in the darkness, making the man step out of them. It was nearly laughable how the much shorter man roughly manhandled Erwin backward toward the bed, tearing the plush comforter away to leave only the sheets on the mattress. Erwin was then backed up until he sat on the edge of the bed, crisp sheets soft against his skin. Levi flipped on the small lamp on the nightstand, flooding the room with gentle, golden light.

"Levi, what are you-."

"Shut up."

Levi answered, kneeling down between Erwin's parted knees. He ran his slender hands up those solid legs, turning his head to mouth at the inside of one muscled thigh. The bigger man shuddered at the delicate feel of those soft lips, one hand coming down to thread through Levi's hair. Levi continued kissing a slow trail up that inner thigh, until his nose was brushing against Erwin's full sac.

"Levi, you don't have to-."

"I told you to shut up! Let me do this..."

Levi's voice was hot on the underside of Erwin's balls, and he groaned. Gentle lips began to nibble at his testicles, cold fingers sliding up to caress the base of his cock as well. Nibbling became sucking, and then a hot tongue was rolling his balls around inside that eager mouth, Levi's eyes closed in enjoyment. Erwin's fingers were slow as they stroked Levi's soft head, his own jaw open in disbelief. He had never thought that Levi would want to do that to him. Then again, Levi had been hinting at wanting to do all manner of dirty things with him for months and he was not someone who lied. Levi's mouth eventually traveled higher, kissing the sides of Erwin's cock as he moved up.

"Levi...god, Levi..."

Erwin's words were followed immediately by Levi's lips sliding over the head. Fingers tightened in Levi's hair as Erwin sucked in his breath, his knees shaking a bit with his pleasure. The hot sheath of Levi's mouth closed on him as Levi began to suck tentatively, moving his head slowly up and down. It felt good, but at the same time Erwin could tell that Levi had not done this before, or if he had it hadn't been with anyone who knew any better. The gentle grazing of his teeth was one giveaway, but Erwin found that he liked that...a lot...none of his previous partners had been clumsy enough to let him feel teeth so he'd had no idea it could be so...hot... Levi was obviously trying very hard, letting as much of Erwin's cock sink into his mouth as he could, his tongue wiggling around as much as it could in the tight space. After a few moments Levi seemed to give up on suckling the whole of him, and instead began to focus on the head, pulling it tight against the roof of his mouth , tongue going to town on the tender underside. Meanwhile both of his hands kept busy, one rubbing and cupping Erwin's heavy sac and the other squeezing the rest of his length as it moved. And there it was, Levi found a rhythm he could manage, and gave it all he had.

"Oh my god..." Erwin gasped, now taking Levi's head in both of his hands, petting his dark hair. Levi's grey eyes suddenly flicked open and looked up at him, and Erwin groaned deeply. At the erotic sound, Levi withdrew his mouth in order to pant hard, his hand replacing his mouth to keep Erwin's flesh pleased.

"How am I doing?" Levi gasped, leaning his head against Erwin's thigh while the older man stroked his hair.

The question made Erwin's heart ache for the younger man, seeing the naked desperation for praise and love in those eyes that had been previously hidden well by biting words and frowns. The sweetness of that expression made Erwin pluck the smaller man from the floor and hold him on his lap, kissing him wildly. Levi groaned and kissed back, hands pawing at the back of his neck and shoulders.

Erwin hooked his hand under Levi's knees and picked him up, moving them to the center of the bed and laying Levi on his back amid the neatly stacked pillows at the head of the bed. Large fingers laced through thinner ones on the mattress as lips continued to move together.

"You're doing perfect, Levi." Erwin finally answered him, "you're absolutely perfect, and I'm finally going to adore you the way I've wanted all this time."

The slender body arched beneath him as Erwin began to kiss his way down the center of his body.

"E-Erwin..." Levi whispered, guessing exactly where that mouth was heading.

"Hush, Levi," Erwin muttered back, lips brushing his hipbone, "I told you I'd be the first to do this to you. Now, let me."

Big hands slid down Levi's sides to grip his narrow hips, warm lips inching closer to Levi's waistband. Erwin gripped the soft black material and slowly pulled it down Levi's legs. When he had tossed the pants aside, Erwin leaned back to take in the sight of Levi splayed out on the mattress; his milky white body nearly glowed against the dark grey sheets, his hair inky black strands flaring out on the pale pillow cover. A patch of black curls nestled at his groin, just above the long, pale pink cock that rose tall and hard. His balls were draped tight against the base of his shaft, the dark pink tip so swollen that his foreskin had rolled almost completely down to expose it.

Erwin had to catch his breath, lungs shuddering at the beauty laid out before him. He rubbed his thumbs against Levi's hipbones as he settled himself more comfortably between Levi's slender white legs. His dreamy expression changed to a smug grin as he saw Levi's cock jump in place with excitement.

"You've waited a long time for this, haven't you, Levi?" Erwin whispered, kissing the juncture of his hip and torso. The small body shivered beneath him, and Levi didn't answer him, but his hands slid over Erwin's on his hips. "I'll make it so good for you."

Wanting to make good on this promise, Erwin softly brushed his lips against the base of Levi's virgin cock, hearing the small breath Levi released. He was thankful now that he could put his experience to use for this young man whom he loved, mouthing at his shaft and watching Levi bite his lip and stare down helplessly at him. Erwin slowly worked his way up to suckling the sides of Levi's cock, flicking his tongue out against the silky skin. One of his hands released Levi's and began to slide the thin foreskin up and down the swollen length, the head covered and revealed with each sweep of his fingers.

"Shit..." Levi gasped, his voice a high pitch that Erwin had never heard before, and it set his own cock throbbing hard between his legs.

"That's a good boy..." Erwin whispered, not knowing what compelled him to say the words. Their effect on Levi was immediate, as he groaned and twisted. Erwin's mouth then slipped over Levi's tip, his tongue instantly lapping around the slippery crown and teasing the sheath of foreskin gently.

"Ohmygod..." Levi shuddered, his hips thrusting weakly with his pleasure. "Shit, Erwin, that's so good..."

A small smile stretched Erwin's lips as he determined to prove to Levi that this was nothing, nothing compared to what was coming next. He opened his mouth wider and sunk down on Levi's cock, savoring the helpless gasping coming from above him as he inched further and further until his nose brushed black curls. The entire length of Levi's slender cock fit into Erwin's experienced mouth, nudging the back of his throat and throbbing against his tongue. Wanting to get right to it, Erwin began to bob his head, slow and easy as his cheeks hollowed out and his tongue began to work the hard shaft. Blond hair was suddenly seized by thin fingers as Levi cried out a loud, nonsensical noise of pleasure. His legs began to restlessly move on either side of Erwin as the pleasure flowed through him.

_Oh Levi, my dear Levi, I love you so much_

His own thoughts prompted Erwin to quicken his pace, suckling Levi hard and fast. The smaller man's sounds grew louder and more erratic, his fingers abusing Erwin's scalp as he pulled at his hair. Erwin slid his arms under Levi's thighs to grip his sides, lifting Levi's hips just enough to make his spine arch and to relieve some of the stress from Erwin's neck.

"Uggn....ah...ah...Er---win...shit....shit..."

Levi began babbling nonsensical streams of disjointed words, riding the swell of pleasure rolled out by Erwin's mouth and tongue. The blond man felt his heart soar at Levi's enjoyment, and made the decision to take Levi over the edge. He redoubled his efforts, sucking and bobbing his head as hard and fast as he could. Levi began whimpering and writhing beneath him, begging and moaning, hands trembling in Erwin's hair. His narrow hips began to pump up into Erwin's mouth, unable to hold back the urge. The older man allowed this action easily, adjusting his suckling to accommodate.

Levi was in heaven, the hot, slick wetness of Erwin's mouth and the tightness of his cheeks around his cock the most unbelievable sensation he'd ever felt. He'd never let anyone do this to him before, not trusting his manhood to just any filthy mouth. But Erwin he trusted, and his trust was definitely rewarding him at this moment. The pleasure was intense, hot, and incredible. Levi's hard cock was throbbing, his tip tingling with the stroke of Erwin's talented tongue, and it was only a few moments later that he felt the tightening in his stomach and balls.

"S-stop, Erwin...I'm...too close...stop...." Levi gasped, cupping Erwin's head tightly to try and pry him off. Erwin's blue eyes turned up, glaring at him as his fingers dug into Levi's sides. It was then that Levi knew that Erwin meant to get him off, right now. "Oh shit, you...idiot..."

Desperate panting increased in tempo as Levi's pleasure rose steadily, pulling high pitched cries and whimpers from his mouth until his spine went rigid, his voice faltered, and hot liquid shot down Erwin's throat. The older man swallowed around the throbbing shaft, drawing the pleasure from him until that small body went slack in his arms, trembling. He pulled slowly off the softening shaft, licking the little trickle of white liquid at the shrinking head. When he raised his head Levi's chest was heaving, his mouth open to let the deep pants come and go easier. He looked beautiful, and Erwin carefully pried Levi's fingers from his hair and slid up his body. He propped himself on one elbow and stroked that black hair with his other hand, kissing the pale forehead.

"Did you like that, baby?"

"Ugnnnnn...." Levi groaned, not really sounding angry about the name, but then again he was so relaxed and thrumming with pleasure that it would be hard to upset him at that moment. Grey eyes slid open slightly, staring up at Erwin adoringly. Smiling in response, the older man cupped Levi's cheek and tilted his head toward his own, brushing soft kisses over his panting lips and flushed cheeks.

"God, you're sweet..." Levi mumbled into Erwin's mouth when his breathing calmed down a few moments later. "I don't know how I got so lucky..."

Erwin recognized the pure honesty brought on by the afterglow of orgasm, loving how it sounded on Levi's soft voice. He laid one large, warm hand on Levi's flat stomach, rubbing heat into his slightly chilled flesh. Levi moaned gently and stretched his legs and arms.

"Funny," Erwin said against Levi's temple, "I was wondering the exact same thing."

"Erwin..." Levi said, a bit more strength in his tone now. He turned over to face Erwin, placing his slender hands on that broad chest and leaning up to whisper in his ear. "I want you to fuck me, right now."

The arousal that Erwin had repressed for the sake of making Levi feel good came flaring back at those erotic words, and his hands came up to cradle Levi's body against him.

"Do you have any..?"

Levi rolled away from Erwin without answering, giving the man a good look at his pert little ass as he curled on his side and reached into the top drawer of his nightstand. When he rolled back over he held a bottle of lube, and his grey eyes were glowing with renewed life.

"No condom?" Erwin asked, surprised. He would have thought with Levi's penchant for cleanliness that it would be a given. Levi shook his head as he inched forward.

"You're clean, aren't you?" He asked, and Erwin nodded reassuringly. "I am too, so there's no way in hell I'm letting anything come between us. Now, up on your knees."

Scrambling to obey, Erwin knelt in the center of the bed and placed his hands on Levi's shoulders to pull him closer. Levi joined him, unsnapping the bottle and pouring a good amount of the clear liquid onto his palm. Erwin's mouth went dry at the sight, and Levi pressed their mouths together when he reached down and wrapped his slick hand around Erwin's straining erection. The moan that came from Erwin's throat echoed into Levi's mouth, the simple pleasure of that lubed touch incredible after his cock had been ignored for so long.

"Uhhh....you're going to spend me before I have a chance to do anything..." Erwin mumbled against Levi's lips. Levi's response was the clench his fingers tight around Erwin's shaft, Erwin arching up into the grip.

"I don't think so. Besides, even if I did, I'd just be paying you back."

"I didn't hear you complaining." Erwin chuckled, thrusting into Levi's stroking hand, which lowered to coat his balls as well.

"Shut up and give me your hand." Levi demanded, grabbing Erwin's right hand without waiting. He spread open Erwin's big fingers with his own slick hand, and poured more lube over them with his other. Once there was small pool in Erwin's palm, Levi rubbed the liquid slowly all over those long fingers, holding Erwin's clouded gaze as he stroked the middle one more deliberately and longer than the rest. They didn't need to speak right now, the intimacy of what they were about to do covering them in silence as they prepared for it. Once Levi was satisfied with the wetness of Erwin's fingers he gracefully slipped backward on his knees, and then turned over. He rested easily on his hands and knees, looking back over his shoulder and very slowly presenting Erwin with his backside. Erwin searched those grey eyes, and found not a trace of hesitancy, only firm surety. His dry hand reached out to cup one firm swell of Levi's ass, squeezing playfully as he moved closer. Levi's entrance was dark pink and inviting, and Erwin was careful as he slid his fingers over it gently, spreading the lubricant over the puckered flesh. Levi sighed, pushing his ass even further back for Erwin's access.

Unable to help himself, Erwin released Levi's ass and began stroking his own slippery cock while his other hand rubbed the wetness between Levi's tight cheeks. It was so slick that the motion began to make naughty sounds as he moved his fingers up and down Levi's crease.

"Ugnnn....Erwin..." Levi moaned, his anus twitching beneath Erwin's stroking fingers. "Please don't tease me..."

"Have you ever...?" Erwin asked cautiously, thinking he knew the answer but still wanting to be sure. Levi dropped his head as a big, slick fingertip probed at his hole.

"I'm technically still a virgin..." Levi admitted, "...but I've been using a dildo since high school..."

This information prompted a series of erotic images to flash through Erwin's imagination, making him speed up his movement on his own cock.

"Oh god..." Erwin groaned, pressing his finger inside, knowing now that Levi could take it. Levi's inner walls were burning, and Erwin's mouth dropped open again as he began to explore deeper, crooking his finger a bit as it slid in to the second knuckle.

"Yes, god yes..." Levi huffed, his head arching back. "More, Erwin, please...."

Erwin could feel how slick he was thanks to his own efforts, and as much as he cared for Levi, his urgency goaded him to slip a second finger in. The smaller man yelped in surprise and delight, his hips jerking up into the prodding of those fingers.

"Shit, yeah, push them in deeper...faster, Erwin...I won't break..."

Erwin obeyed eagerly, beginning to thrust his fingers in and out, feeling Levi's channel softening to his touch to longer he did that. His cock was so hard it hurt now, imagining the feel of that hot flesh tight around it, and he did his best to pry Levi open, beginning to reach deeper, seeking out his prostate. Between soft moans and little whispered words of encouragement, Levi suddenly yelped and his head tossed back with a curse.

"There it is..." Erwin whispered, feeling the little nub with his middle fingertip, nestled deep in Levi's flesh. He rubbed at it again, and the sound Levi made caused his cock to spurt a tiny bit of pre come as his entire body literally rippled.

"Shitthat'sgood!" Levi gasped in one breath, dropping down onto his elbows under the weight of the pleasure that caused him. Erwin didn't know how much longer he could wait, but he knew he needed to at least put one more finger in before Levi could be completely prepared for his large cock. Between prodding at that sensitive bundle of nerves that sent pleasure coursing through Levi's body, Erwin snuck a third finger inside. This made Levi curse again, and his hips began to thrust back into Erwin's touch. He was wet, stretched, and soft inside now...Erwin knew it was time. He withdrew his fingers, and Levi actually growled in displeasure, throwing Erwin a look over his shoulder that hovered between desperation and anger. Another heartbeat later Erwin nudged the hot tip of his cock against Levi's contracting hole.

"God yes, Erwin, please, please..." Levi moaned shamelessly, rolling his hips back against Erwin's cock. The bigger man was panting now, and rubbed his cockhead against the ridges of that puckered flesh, enjoying it before he began to ease it inside. Levi's hands clenched in the sheets beneath him, feeling his own cock finally reaching full hardness with his excitement. Groaning deeply and loudly, Erwin let his flesh sink into Levi's slick body.

"OhhhhLevi..." Erwin grated out between his teeth. "You're so tight and hot..."

Levi surprised him by suddenly pushing his hips backward, swallowing the entirety of Erwin's cock before Erwin was quite ready. Huge hands clamped down hard onto Levi's hips as he fought to keep it together, his larger body bending low over the smaller one beneath him.

"Are you alright?" He panted, his first concern being Levi's body.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Levi gasped, rising up onto his hands again. "You're fucking huge but I can take it...it feels really good."

Erwin ran his hands up and over Levi's back, stroking his slightly sweaty skin and then down and around to his chest, rubbing his hard nipples and making the younger man shudder. He finally began to move, sliding out and then back in, starting a slow rhythm. They both panted lightly as they adjusted to the intensity of being so deeply connected. All the weeks they had waited for this, even the years they had spent growing closer and closer without even realizing it, now culminated in this one act, this merging of their bodies only secondary to their hearts which were already one, but so very powerful. The sweetness of it was nearly enough to hurt their souls.

 Erwin's heart jumped frantically in his chest at the feel of Levi's virginal channel gripping him in its tight, soft, burning embrace. He could not stop stroking that slender body all over as he thrust his hips, needing to show Levi how much he adored every inch of him, how much he appreciated what Levi was giving him. Knowing that he was Levi's very first, the only one, caused thrills to run along his body, drawing his lips down to press between Levi's shoulder blades. He held that trembling body close against his chest as he thrust within it faster, sheltering and comforting Levi even as he pleasured him.

These actions did not go unnoticed, as Levi reveled in the feel of those huge hands cupping, stroking, and groping him. He knew Erwin well enough by now to know what he was trying to say with those touches. As clearly as if they had been words, those big hands were whispering across his flesh, 'you're so beautiful', 'your body is a precious gift', 'I treasure you so dearly.' Even without speaking these words, Erwin was warming Levi's heart, making tears fill his eyes as he gave himself up for the first time. The heat of a real man's cock inside of him for the first time...the slap of Erwin's hips against his ass...those dear, dear hands...

"Erwin...Erwin...Erwin..." Levi chanted between pants, his entire body beginning to rock on the bed with the force of Erwin's thrusts. He was shocked for a second when the man pulled back, cock pulling completely out of him. The world spun briefly as Erwin easily flipped Levi onto his back with his strong hands, instantly thrusting back inside. Levi yelped, his legs hooking around Erwin's strong hips. His grey eyes widened as he adjusted to the new position. Erwin was holding his hip with one hand, the other supporting himself beside Levi's shoulder. That handsome face was blissed out, blue eyes heavy-lidded, mouth alternating between opening with panting breaths and biting his bottom lip. Levi made a feeble groan as that expression struck him almost painfully with its beauty. Thin arms reached up and wrapped around the strong neck, pulling him down into a hot, messy kiss.

Erwin kissed back as best as he could, both of them gasping hard into each other's mouths and wetting their lips with saliva. The slight shift in Erwin's position as he bent down suddenly made Levi yelp and jerk his hips, that big cock finally hitting against his prostate.

"Harder!" Levi gasped thoughtlessly, clutching at Erwin's shoulders and rolling his hips. Erwin complied, cock throbbing as he literally felt Levi shudder around him and beneath him. " _God_ , Erwin!"

The bigger man grunted as he put forth his best effort, thrusting as hard and fast as he could into that incredibly tight heat. It felt so good, incredible, the wetness of the lube smearing between Levi's cheeks and all over his thighs, creating slick, wet sounds that brought a flush to their cheeks. Erwin had to pull back, sitting up on his knees to thrust at that angle that made Levi cry out so wantonly. Levi couldn't reach him this way, so he started clutching the sheets and moaning, his eyes squeezed shut and his lips twisting with pleasure.

"You feel so good, Levi!" Erwin managed to groan, as he felt his climax beginning to rise. "I'm so close...I want to take you with me..."

"Ugnnn....ah, ah, ah...Er---win..."

Spotting Levi's cock, hard and dripping on his flat stomach, Erwin spared one of his hands to wrap around it. Levi arched his back, throwing a hand over his mouth to muffle the squeal that left him. Erwin's hand gripped his length hard and stroked him quickly in time with his thrusts. The combination of sensations made Levi crazy, tossing his dark head on the pillow and jerking his hips helplessly against Erwin's.

"GodohgodohgodpleasepleaseErwinplease..." He whimpered, face contorted like he was in pain as he sang Erwin's praises to the ceiling.

"Come with me, Levi, come on, come on..." Erwin grunted, his pleasure peaking and his thrusts becoming erratic. A breath later, and Erwin's cock throbbed, his balls tightened, and he poured his pleasure into Levi in strong spurts. The smaller man cried out as his own orgasm crashed over him both at the clench of Erwin's hand and the feel of the release inside of him. Wetness shot over Levi's own torso, coating Erwin's hand as he tugged him a few more times. All movement slowed to a stop, both of them panting hard and shaking with the aftermath.

Erwin very slowly pulled out, dropping heavily beside Levi and pulling him against his body. Levi went with him easily, fitting into the arch of his body and resting his hands against his heaving chest. Long fingers threaded through the hair at the back of Levi's head, lips brushing hot breath and kisses over the pale forehead. Levi was shaking gently in Erwin's arms, and he nuzzled his face against Erwin's sweaty neck. Softly, almost helplessly, words tumbled from his gasping lips.

"I love you, Erwin...I love you so much..."

Erwin's heart was beating too quickly to stop, but those words made it want to. He felt the wetness of tears rolling onto his own skin, and Erwin wrapped Levi up completely in his arms and his legs, pulling them as close together as they could physically be. It was overheated and sweaty, but they didn't care.

"I love you too, Levi. I've loved you for so long..." Erwin panted gently into Levi's soft hair, petting him.

Long moments passed as their bodies cooled and the frantic pace of their gasps slowed to normal once more. Still they lay together, wrapped up in each other and not willing to move. Just like earlier when they had been dancing together, it felt like time had stopped for them. The spell had to be broken at some point, however, and it was with Levi's tired groan as he shifted a little in Erwin's arms.

"Are you alright?" Erwin asked, concerned. Levi pulled back to look up into his eyes, tracing a finger down Erwin's cheek and rubbing across his swollen lips.

"I don't think I've ever been better in my life." Levi answered softly. "But I do feel a little sticky."

With a moan he sat up, breaking Erwin's embrace as he rolled over to his nightstand once more. When he turned back over he had a small package of wipes in his hand, and a small hand towel. Erwin raised a blond eyebrow as Levi pulled out one of the wipes and began to clean the drying mess on their stomachs.

"Don't tell me you were prepared for this?"

Levi shrugged, running the wet wipe over Erwin's genitals carefully, making sure he was clean before applying the towel to dry him. There seemed to be something almost reverent in his actions, and it touched Erwin.

"I knew you'd show up at some point, and I knew there would be no way either of us would have the energy for a shower. But I'm not fond of falling asleep filthy. So this is a good alternative."

Levi reached as though to clean himself, but Erwin stopped him. Gently, he eased Levi onto his side, and cleaned his own release from between Levi's cheeks. Levi sighed when the fluffy towel was rubbed against him.

"Thanks..." He murmured, and Erwin placed a little kiss to his rump with a chuckle.

A few moments later and they had scrubbed the rest of themselves down with the fragrant wipes, dried off, and were once more twined together. They had pulled the comforter up over the bed once more and turned off the lamp, content to nestle in for the night like the pair of lovebirds they were. They kissed gently moment after long moment as the heaviness of sleep began to fall over them, Levi burrowing as deeply against the larger body as he could.

"I love it when you hold me." He whispered, as Erwin nibbled on his neck. The larger man stroked Levi's head and tucked it under his chin again.

"I love holding you." He whispered back. "Like I said, we fit together."

They lay there without moving for a while after they exchanged these words, and then Erwin spoke again.

"Levi...thank you...I know you gave me something very special tonight."

Levi didn't answer right away, but when he did his voice was soft, almost reluctant.

"I never wanted to give myself away to anyone who came along. I'd seen my mother do that so much growing up and...I wanted to try and stay pure even if it meant staying a virgin forever."

Erwin pulled Levi in even tighter, tracing circles over the cap of his warm shoulder.

"Did anyone ever give you grief over it?" He asked gently.

"A few times," Levi admitted, "but I always defended myself by saying that I wasn't a whore like my mother. That seemed to shut down anymore slights."

Erwin didn't respond to this, but kissed Levi's head lovingly. Levi hummed in appreciation before he began speaking again.

"But you were different. When I started to...like you...I began, for the first time, to imagine giving myself to someone...to you. Spending time with you, growing close to you...it enabled me to feel normal desire for someone without feeling afraid. The thought of being with anyone used to disgust me, the very idea making me feel dirty. But once I met you...instead of telling myself there was no such thing as affection in the world, let alone love, you gave me hope that I was wrong."

"I'm so glad," Erwin said honestly, "oh, Levi, I had no idea you struggled with your sexuality so much..."

Levi shushed him softly.

"It's a moot point now, Erwin." The older man heard a chuckle from Levi's lips. "You've successfully turned me into a complete and utter pervert."

Erwin laughed heartily.

"Have I now?" He asked, voice filled with mirth as he rolled slightly over Levi, pinning him beneath his heavier body. Levi's arms received him, stroking his hands down the rippling back.

"Just for you," Levi murmured against Erwin's mouth, "no one else."

"Good to know, since we're exclusive." Erwin whispered teasingly, brushing a kiss to Levi's lips. He felt, rather than saw in the dim light, Levi's sassy expression fall away into a more serious one. "What is it, babe?"

Levi frowned at the name, but didn't protest.

"Erwin...I..." Levi stopped to bite his lip, and his face turned to the side, unable to hold Erwin's gaze that was lit by the window. Erwin sensed that Levi was uncomfortable, and he pulled back to give him some space, asking gently,

"Levi? Is there something you want to say to me?"

A deep breath answered him before Levi's quiet voice did. It sounded shaky, unsure, and came out in faltering groups of words.

"I've never trusted anyone the way I've trusted you, Erwin. I...I've never loved anyone before let alone so deeply...it's a bit scary, you know? I want to give you everything and take everything you give me in return, that's what love is, right? But...if you ever left me, I'd...Erwin, I couldn't...live without you..I don't want to be alone again, and if you leave me, I..."

Levi's voice hitched as emotion swelled his chest. Erwin felt his heart aching for his lover, seeing into his soul and the deep fear that their relationship brought him. The fear that it might end.

"Hush, Levi," Erwin told him at once, pulling Levi up against his chest, cradling his head into the crook of his neck, "I'll never, _ever_ leave you alone again. I promise that I'll _never_ hurt you like that. I'm not perfect, but if you can put up with all my flaws, I'll be with you always. I _mean_ it, Levi. I love you so, _so_ much and I want to cherish you...forever."

Nearly as soon as Erwin began speaking he felt the tears spilling onto his own collarbone, and by the time he fell silent Levi was crying very softly. He pulled them into a sitting position so he could wipe Levi's tears from his cheeks and rock him gently in his arms. He had known from day one that beneath Levi's tough exterior lay a scared little boy yearning for love and companionship, and he had seen glimpses of that boy over the last few months, but never like this, so raw and scared.

"You believe me, don't you, Levi?" He whispered after a few moments. Levi took a cleansing breath, rubbing his wet cheek into Erwin's palm.

"Yeah..." He whispered. "I wouldn't believe anyone else, but...you've never lied to me before. Plus...Erwin, you...you saved my life. I'll never forget that. I'll never stop being thankful to you either."

Erwin felt his heart soar at these genuinely affectionate words, and with the gentle kiss that Levi lavished on his lips.

"Your life was too special not to be saved."

They slowly eased back into the mattress, Erwin tucking Levi's back into the curve of his body, spooning up close behind him. They were both slightly weary both from their physical loving and their raw emotions. Eventually they both relaxed comfortably with each other, their bodies stilling entirely and their breaths deepening with drowsiness. Suddenly Levi stiffened in Erwin's arms and a small gasp escaped him.

"Oh my god!" Levi said into the darkness.

"What, what's wrong?" Erwin asked, startled.

"I forgot to put the pizza away!"

Silence followed Levi's statement, before Erwin burst out laughing. Levi made a disapproving sound and elbowed Erwin in his side. The man pulled Levi in closer, draping his leg over Levi's.

"You are so adorable."  He muttered into Levi's neck as he hugged him tight. "I love you so much."

Levi chuckled with him for a moment, before closing his eyes and sighing contentedly.

"I love you too, Erwin Smith. For the rest of my life."

Erwin smiled into Levi's flesh, and as they fell silent once more, he felt the steady beating of Levi's heart against his chest. He drifted off to the feel of Levi's thumping heart; healthy, strong, and entirely his.

))((

The End


End file.
